Somebody once told me
The war was gonna kill me
I ain't exactly sure what he said
They were lookin' kinda grim
With their fingers on the brim
Of the slouch hat they wore on their head

Well the Yankees started coming and they didn't stop coming
The flagbearer dropped the flag and he started runnin'
"Somebody send that boy straight to hell!"
So he got shot with a musket shell.

So many guns, so many soldiers
So what's wrong with gettin' capped in the shoulder?
I said that but I didn't know
But when I got shot it was time to go

Hey now, I'm a Rebel
I get shot at, can't shoot back
Hey now, I'm a coward
I ran from the battle, I'm dead

I guess I was too slow
When the Sergeant shot me low

It's a rough life, and they say it gets rougher
Marching all day and I'm a hard puffer
From what I hear it's a long way to Richmond
The veterans they tell me to quit b*tchin'
My gun's a weight, and I'm a wimp
The tall guys pick on me cause I'm a shrimp
My lungs are on fire, how about yours?
I need a drink of water, and Oh Dear Lord..

Well the Rebs started coming, and they didn't stop coming
We saw 'em charging, and backwards we started running
We're not exactly sure why
We just didn't want to die

Hey now, I'm a Yankee
I gotta run now, please help
Hey now, I'm a wimp ass
I need some water, so please pass

The water tastes oh so good
I think I drank more than I should

Well I met Johnny Reb up in Heaven
He died on December 11th
That was the battle of Fredricksburg
Then God said that he heard...

Hey now, we were cowards
We got shot at, we ran fast
Hey now, we're dead men
We got capped in the head

And all we really know
Is that we're not going home