(Yo, I don't even know what that is,
Brush your teeth!)

I talk with it,
My mouth is all full of tartar,
Fits in,
Worse than Jimmy Carter's,
People,
Run away like I was a martyr,
I need a brushin', but today I was rushin',
Build up,
Of the plaque and bacteria,
Dentists,
Yes, I know, I hear ya,
I'm careful usually,
Isn't so bad, but,
Today it is a tad, what?
Mortifying,

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I need gum or something,
"Cuz all these people are scared of my teeth hole,
I need to floss like (hey!),
Floss it like (hey!),
Floss it out like (hey!),
Floss me up (hey!),
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I need a brush and water,
"Cuz my lunch came out with garlic and sauerkraut,
I need mouthwash like (hey!),
Wash it like (hey!),
Brush and wash like (hey!),
"Cuz I'm too stink-ay,

Stop it,
Anything I want, I chomp it,
Even,
If my breath smells worse than Jack Thomson,
I've got,
Cavities and plaque to top it,
Not fun to talk with when I smell like a mosh pit,
I like,
To show friends my big grin,
But now they're,
Wheeled off my ambulance men,
Teeth worse,
Than the Tom Hanks movie on that island,
I may be young, but my gum's bare like an old man,
If you find a restroom or clean air, please direct me there,
Spam's just one of the things I eat,
You can see some up in my teeth,
Looks like something out a B movie,
My teeth look like a dead coral reef,

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I need gum or something,
"Cuz all these people are scared of my teeth hole,
I need to floss like (hey!),
Floss it like (hey!),
Floss it out like (hey!),
Floss me up (hey!),
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I need a brush and water,
"Cuz my lunch came out with garlic and sauerkraut,
I need mouthwash like (hey!),
Wash it like (hey!),
Brush and wash like (hey!),
"Cuz I'm too stink-ay,

I've got a great personality,
A face right from a dream,
But when I open up my mouth,
All the women run and scream,
I have more tartar,
And I stink even harder,
Than an Ernest Saves Christmas director's cut two-parter,
Two large hamburgers,
Ketchup and garlic fries,
Sauerkraut and octopus,
Hey, wait a moment, where you going, guys?
I lived up the block; I was raised down the street,
In between here and there, I must have lost half my teeth,
I'm the leader of the plaque,
I've infected my gums,
I eat lost of candy,
And can't feel my tongue,
As I clean off my plate, the food starts really fillin' me,
Next day I'm up on a chair with dentists drillin' me,
Now to infinity, doctors be billin' me,
I keep clean to the best of my abilities,
But sometimes I'm rushin', rushin',
And I don't have time much for brushin',
So I guess it won't belong before I'm eatin' mush, and,

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I need gum or something,
"Cuz all these people are scared of my teeth hole,
I need to floss like (hey!),
Floss it like (hey!),
Floss it out like (hey!),
Floss me up (hey!),
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I need a brush and water,
"Cuz my lunch came out with garlic and sauerkraut,
I need mouthwash like (hey!),
Wash it like (hey!),
Brush and wash like (hey!),
"Cuz I'm too stink-ay,

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I need gum or something,
"Cuz all these people are scared of my teeth hole,
I need to floss like (hey!),
Floss it like (hey!),
Floss it out like (hey!),
Floss me up (hey!),
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I need a brush and water,
"Cuz my lunch came out with garlic and sauerkraut,
I need mouthwash like (hey!),
Wash it like (hey!),
Brush and wash like (hey!),
"Cuz I'm too stink-ay.