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Song Parodies -> "My Teeth Only Hurt When I'm Eating"

Original Song Title:

"It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing"

Original Performer:

Shania Twain

Parody Song Title:

"My Teeth Only Hurt When I'm Eating"

The Lyrics

Okay, so I guess you guys weren't all that fond of my last parody, "My Bone," but let's face it, I'm not great with rap songs (i.e. The Diarrhea Song) so I'm gonna make up for that last travesty with this one.
I've been to the dentist
Time after time
I'm doing fine now, my teeth have no grime
They're not so bad, with all the plaque I once had

I'm quite in glee now I lost cavities
I'm over the worst, and I'm ready to eat
But my toothache is like an earthquake

And my teeth only hurt when I'm eating
My breath only smells when I'm breathing
My tongue only talks when it's cleaning
So I hold grit my teeth to believe

Don't think I'm using Anbesol by the keg
Most of the pain has gone to my legs
I've never sucked sores, they're hurting my pores


It only hurts when I breathe

No, I've never sucked sores
They're hurting my pores


Hurt when I'm eating
Smells when I'm breathing
Talks when it's cleaning
My teeth only hurt when I eat

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm actually battling a MAJOR toothache right now. I have a paralyzing fear of the dentist...but I'm going to have to go...I'm so bummed. Great work...555!
Paul Robinson - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Joey L - sorry - DKTOS. Arwen, sorry about your toothache. As one who has had many a miserable toothache let me just say...IF YOU HAVEN"T DONE IT YET, GET THEE TO THE's probably not going to get any better with time and pain-killers. I speak as someone who speaks with less than a full mouth of operative choppers. Just don't go to the dentist I have, er...make that HAD been using. Shouldn't be a problem, unless he moved to Wyoming in the last couple months or so.
Kristof Robertson - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment Paul, DKTOS, will vote when I do. Keep writing.
Arwen - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment'll be happy to know that I've made an appointment, against my wimpy judgement. Seriously...THERE it one weakness...I HATE the dentist. I will kill every spider that comes my may. I have shot a moose right in the head. (oh yes I have!) I will fish and hunt and camp and build and anything you want me to do...but the dentist...I can't do it. I'm seriously outside of my mind with anxiety right now. I need someone to come and hold my hand.
Paul Robinson - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen, glad you made an appointment - unless you have my former dentist you will almost surely feel better once you have seen them. I have this bad habit of letting tooth pain go until just short of "Screaming Agony" sets in. So now all I have to do is follow my own wonderful advice next time I have a toothache, right? Hey, what about squirrels? I've got a "Moose and Squirrel in BEEG trouble" line that's just begging to be said here....I'd volunteer to come hold your hand but I have a phobia about flying, too...(not true, I got over the actual fear of flying, now I recognize that I just HATE and thoroughly resent the way airlines treat you. I wouldn't say customers get treated like cattle, the cattle at least doesn't have to pay (but admittedly, they end up a lot worse for wear).
Juanita - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Whoo-hoo! Shania rule!
Mordecai - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Who the hell's Joey Lawrence?
C-Pac - June 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Keep this shit up!
Joey Lawrence (no, not the actor) - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, what a conversation this turned out to be. And pardon my asking, but just what in the hell is DKTOS supposed to mean? And to that Mordecai person (yes, I know where the name comes from, I am a wrestling fan), I can't help feeling like I know you, even though you don't know me. And to all you guys with dentist problems, get some false teeth already and shut your traps. This is about making fun of music here!
Mordecai - July 04, 2004 - Report this comment I am have not heard the last of me...
Jeff Reuben - July 12, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS: Don't Know The Original Song. I did...not bad
Ash - July 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Mordecai-Great pic... ok the URL for my parody in case I'm allowed to spread it around is: Ash - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
"My breath only smells when I'm breathing." Heh heh.
Jared - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
(sOtm) Sorry, I DKTOS either, but good luck in the compettion anyway Joey, BTW, the url for my entry is
Adagio - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "My breath only smells when I'm breathing" lol good parody.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) It was okay, but much too short compared to other entries (like the Sir Farqalot one) and not enough humour. 5-3-3
Claude Prez - July 27, 2004 - Report this comment
DWKTOS (don't wanna know the original song) but some decent lines in there anyway.
Johnny D - July 27, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Twisted and chewy!
John Jenkins - July 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Good parody - I liked the toothache/earthquake line.
Johnny D - July 29, 2004 - Report this comment
+++Restoring vote that was lost due to 7-28-04 system problem+++
Peregrin - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent, someone made fun of Shania!!! Good job!
Meriadoc - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ambesol comes in kegs? Hee hee. :-)
ethan - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
don't know the original but it's good to see someone new in the competition
2nz - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice one, Joey. As Ace Ventura once said: "You know gingivitis is the #1 cause of ALL tooth decay"
Yoshi MacGver - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
ANBESOL: Dentist Srong So the Pain is Gone!!!

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