Song Parodies -> Fake Wal-Mart
| Original Song Title: | "Sacred Heart" |
| Original Performer: | Scrubs: 'My Musical' |
| Parody Song Title: | "Fake Wal-Mart" |
| Parody Written by: | Agrimorfee |
Big number for the possible production of "Amiright: Our Musical". Stage directions given below, and additional directions or cues for characters, are optional.
I'm the ghost of Sam Waldon, I'm elated that you came
We've had the walls repainted, new associates were trained
Shopping should be a breeze--feel like you'll fall apart?
You should see the folks who work here...
Welcome to Fake Wal-Mart!
The sales prices are excellent! That's one thing you can't ignore.
Five-fifty for a CD of Ray Conniff's "Hits & More!"
Please don't lift that box, let me put it in a cart
You've got some cash to spend? Well, haul ass to Fake Wal-Mart!
We got all the T-shirt styles real rad, or do you need some saws?
Perhaps you need spackle and grout--or 36D bras?
You want an MP3 player that's guaranteed to start?
My dear,
We won't screw you here, can't fake it
We won't fake it
Here at Fake Wal-Mart!
(Instrumental interlude with complex choreography involving shopping carts and hand-held price scanners)
Yes, we are all in good intention, in our fetching vests of blue
In Asia, each worker earns much less than you
(as the chorus members sing, "Ahhh! Ahhhh!" here, 50 Chinese dancers dressed in rags gaily dance in the center of the stage/set, pretending to embroider swatches of fabric...)
Yes, Asia's very dear to us, they're so full of heart
'Cause we're all so gosh darn happy working here at Fake Wal-Mart!
Cashiers! Associates! Greeters! Janitors!
YOU'VE COME TO FAKE WAL-MART!!!!
(...at the climax of the music, the dancers group together to form a line and reveal their swatches with the words, "GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.")
We've had the walls repainted, new associates were trained
Shopping should be a breeze--feel like you'll fall apart?
You should see the folks who work here...
Welcome to Fake Wal-Mart!
The sales prices are excellent! That's one thing you can't ignore.
Five-fifty for a CD of Ray Conniff's "Hits & More!"
Please don't lift that box, let me put it in a cart
You've got some cash to spend? Well, haul ass to Fake Wal-Mart!
We got all the T-shirt styles real rad, or do you need some saws?
Perhaps you need spackle and grout--or 36D bras?
You want an MP3 player that's guaranteed to start?
My dear,
We won't screw you here, can't fake it
We won't fake it
Here at Fake Wal-Mart!
(Instrumental interlude with complex choreography involving shopping carts and hand-held price scanners)
Yes, we are all in good intention, in our fetching vests of blue
In Asia, each worker earns much less than you
(as the chorus members sing, "Ahhh! Ahhhh!" here, 50 Chinese dancers dressed in rags gaily dance in the center of the stage/set, pretending to embroider swatches of fabric...)
Yes, Asia's very dear to us, they're so full of heart
'Cause we're all so gosh darn happy working here at Fake Wal-Mart!
Cashiers! Associates! Greeters! Janitors!
YOU'VE COME TO FAKE WAL-MART!!!!
(...at the climax of the music, the dancers group together to form a line and reveal their swatches with the words, "GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.")
Copyright, 2007, Agrimorfee. TADAHHH!!
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User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I can see the musical number unfolding in my head now...can't... seem.... to.... make... it... stop! Great work... Nuthin' 'pseudo' 'bout these here fives!
Great opening number for our shopping spree!!!
I don't know where Evanescence comes in as the ad picture on the side, I guess I confused it with my three Evanescence parodies today. . .anhow. . ."Perhaps you need spackle and grout--or 36D bras?" Clearly you had some free-time to come up with that, very cool.
I will be thinking of that the day after Thanksgiving when I hear 'choppers hovering over the local shopping mall at 5AM.
Calling all Amiright Authors who are also Scrubs fans and/or who like a challenge!! Please meet us here: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/scrubsmymusical1.shtml
I meant to say---Please meet us here! http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?topic=28451.0
This spoof hits the roof..Top job
By the way his name is "Walton" not "Walden"
Agramorphy, have you ever heard of Kmart and Dollar General? Now THOSE are "Fake Wal-Marts"! BTW, Sam Walton would flat-out kill you if he were able to read this. Did I spell your name right?
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