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Song Parodies -> "Fake Wal-Mart"

Original Song Title:

"Sacred Heart"

Original Performer:

Scrubs: 'My Musical'

Parody Song Title:

"Fake Wal-Mart"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Big number for the possible production of "Amiright: Our Musical". Stage directions given below, and additional directions or cues for characters, are optional.
I'm the ghost of Sam Waldon, I'm elated that you came
We've had the walls repainted, new associates were trained
Shopping should be a breeze--feel like you'll fall apart?
You should see the folks who work here...

Welcome to Fake Wal-Mart!

The sales prices are excellent! That's one thing you can't ignore.
Five-fifty for a CD of Ray Conniff's "Hits & More!"

Please don't lift that box, let me put it in a cart
You've got some cash to spend? Well, haul ass to Fake Wal-Mart!

We got all the T-shirt styles real rad, or do you need some saws?
Perhaps you need spackle and grout--or 36D bras?

You want an MP3 player that's guaranteed to start?
My dear,
We won't screw you here, can't fake it
We won't fake it
Here at Fake Wal-Mart!

(Instrumental interlude with complex choreography involving shopping carts and hand-held price scanners)

Yes, we are all in good intention, in our fetching vests of blue
In Asia, each worker earns much less than you

(as the chorus members sing, "Ahhh! Ahhhh!" here, 50 Chinese dancers dressed in rags gaily dance in the center of the stage/set, pretending to embroider swatches of fabric...)

Yes, Asia's very dear to us, they're so full of heart
'Cause we're all so gosh darn happy working here at Fake Wal-Mart!

Cashiers! Associates! Greeters! Janitors!

( the climax of the music, the dancers group together to form a line and reveal their swatches with the words, "GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.")
Copyright, 2007, Agrimorfee. TADAHHH!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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TJC - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I can see the musical number unfolding in my head now...can't... seem.... to.... make... it... stop! Great work... Nuthin' 'pseudo' 'bout these here fives!
Matthias - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Great opening number for our shopping spree!!!
Below Average Dave - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't know where Evanescence comes in as the ad picture on the side, I guess I confused it with my three Evanescence parodies today. . .anhow. . ."Perhaps you need spackle and grout--or 36D bras?" Clearly you had some free-time to come up with that, very cool.
2Eagle - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I will be thinking of that the day after Thanksgiving when I hear 'choppers hovering over the local shopping mall at 5AM.
Agrimorfee - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Calling all Amiright Authors who are also Scrubs fans and/or who like a challenge!! Please meet us here:
Agrimorfee - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I meant to say---Please meet us here!
AFW - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
This spoof hits the roof..Top job
Matthias - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
By the way his name is "Walton" not "Walden"
Andria - September 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Agramorphy, have you ever heard of Kmart and Dollar General? Now THOSE are "Fake Wal-Marts"! BTW, Sam Walton would flat-out kill you if he were able to read this. Did I spell your name right?
Agrimorfee - January 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Fans, the original song is seen at

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