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Song Parodies -> "Goalie No More"

Original Song Title:

"Lonely No More"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Rob Thomas

Parody Song Title:

"Goalie No More"

Parody Written by:

D-Mon

The Lyrics

Jason Vorhees is having a little identity crisis.
Verse 1: Now it seems to me
That you scream right in my face
You’re scared, boy are you scared
And you’ll try to run away
Don’t be scared to die
And I swear that I won’t chase
No more vicious kills
No more ever baby

Chorus: I don’t wanna be goalie no more
I don’t wanna murder hot coeds
I don’t want to go knock down some locked doors
It’s just another habit that is dead
I don’t wanna be angry no more
Now I have hung up my machete
So if you see me shopping at the costume store
I don’t wanna be goalie anymore

Wa-oh, wa-oh, wa-oh, oh!
Wa-oh, wa-oh, wa-oh, oh!

Verse 2: Now it’s hard for me
Cuz my mask is gone for sure
Now what should I be?
What about a butcher!?
But you scoff at me and it’s harming me
Girl, how you look at me everything
Can’t I be anything?
Can’t I have a single friend?
Why can’t you just try!?

Chorus: I don’t wanna be goalie no more
I don’t wanna murder hot coeds
I don’t want to go knock down some locked doors
It’s just another habit that is dead
I don’t wanna be angry no more
Now I have hung up my machete
So if you see me shopping at the costume store
I don’t wanna be goalie anymore

Wa-oh, wa-oh, wa-oh, oh!
Wa-oh, wa-oh, wa-oh, oh!

Bridge: Sorry I was mean to you
Sorry that I killed your friends
What if I could never kill and then maybe the story ends?
Wouldn’t it be paradise?
No more silly horror trends
What if I gave up my knife to find some way to be normal too!?

Chorus: I don’t wanna be goalie no more
I don’t wanna murder hot coeds
I don’t want to go knock down some locked doors
It’s just another habit that is dead
I don’t wanna be angry no more
Now I have hung up my machete
So if you see me shopping at the costume store
I don’t wanna be goalie anymore

I don’t wanna be goalie anymore
I don’t wanna be goalie anymore
I don’t wanna be goalie anymore
April 24, 2011

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
 1
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 4   1
 2
 2
 
 5   7
 5
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Blaydeman - May 01, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) I can't believe you wrote a parody about Horror movies. The only horror movies I've ever seen you make it through without crying were "Dawn of the Dead" and "Stay Alive". Honestly I had no idea you even knew who Jason Vorhees is, LOL! In any case, interesting idea. I like that you took the other side of Jason, and the fact he where's a goalie mask. Clever.
Agrimorfee - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
(Abc) I agree with your brother, clever idea. Could have used a chorus variation or two.
Mark Scotti - May 08, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC)JASON in therapy, what a GREAT concept! A "cut' above the rest! 555 slices
Abbott Skelding - May 09, 2011 - Report this comment
ABC: When I saw the title for this, I got really excited, mostly because I was expecting a story about a kid who gets picked last for sports and doesn't wanna be "goalie no more". But when I found out it was about Jason, I was interested. The lyrics were good matching with the original song, but the chorus variation would help and I think it'd be funny if you pushed the "Jason as different occupations" idea...nice work either way!
Below Average Dave - May 10, 2011 - Report this comment
I actually really like the idea a lot, and I love the original song a whooooooooooole lot. . .but the chorus kinda beat the heck out of me a bit. This one kinda needs some variation to work its full charm. . .good but I think you could drag this one up a few notches with some work
bobpiecheese - May 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Apart from the lack of chorus variation, this was a very intriguing idea that you pulled off very well. Wasn't expecting Vorhees from the title, but like that's a reason to dock points. 555 for you!
Matthias - May 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Not sure why you went with the title "Goalie No More" because although he does wear a hockey mask "Voorhees" rhymes with "Lonely"... Well KINDA. Still I like this parody a whole lot and I really like the movies especially 6 and Jason X... Haha, Man how I love Jason X.
Wild Child JIN - May 11, 2011 - Report this comment
"Voorhees" a jolly good parodist! ;-D Excellent Job, love Jason! :-)
Wild Child JIN - May 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Too bad this wasn't posted today, happy Friday the 13th Jason Vorhees and D-Mon! ;-)

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