You never win first place;
You don't support your team.
The Dems can't direct you;
You're all nuts and all extreme.
Dems are weak, you see;
Lefties just crazy!
Takin' flack from your own side,
Dems are facing your fratricide.

Ev'ry day, the left is getting even weirder;
Stabbing your own people in the back, I see...

You're a hazard to yourselves!
So much infighting;
You're your own worst enemies:
About to do in all yourselves!
Debilitating;
Your most electable guy is Al Gore,
And you don't have anyone else...
No, you don't have anyone else...

John "F" Kerry
Is such a retard:
Whatever he says,
You're gonna slap him hard.
Hillary was not spared
When Cindy's hate flared;
Kos is blazing
With insan'ty.

So Democratic Underground, sit down and shut up,
And you too, Michael Moore--you're no help!

You're a hazard to yourselves! (Oh...)
So much infighting; (Oh...)
You're your own worst enemies:
About to do in all yourselves!
Debilitating;
Your most electable guy is Al Gore,
And you don't have anyone else...
(No!)

Always back-biting; (back-biting)
Bush is your worst enemy-- (Well...)
Except for you, and all yourselves.
Humiliating;
No hope for Sheehan, Dean, or Gore;
You'd better find somebody else...

So Kennedy, were you out drinking late, or something?
Kerry, were you there with him as well?
(You must be crazy!)

You're a hazard to yourselves! (Yeah...)
Don't get too friendly
With your lefty enemies--
I mean, that's you, and all yourselves! (Yourselves...)
Sinking your ratings; (There go your ratings!)
Even Durbin is your friend no more (No, no!)
You'd better look for someone else...

So much infighting; (So much, so much, so much infighting...)
You're your own worst enemies:
About to do in all yourselves! (Infighting's so bad...)
Debilitating; (Oh!)
No hope for Sheehan, Dean, or Gore; (Ha!
You'd better look for someone else...
[Etc.]