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Song Parodies -> "Bad Retort"

Original Song Title:

"Last Resort"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Papa Roach

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Retort"

Parody Written by:

Blaydeman

The Lyrics

In a battle of words, not all of us can be warriors.
Hook: Can’t fight back in discussions
I give a bad retort
Conversations get heated
“That was so dumb, it don’t deserve repeating”

That was a bad retort…

Verse 1: The gift of gab is evasive
I try a bad retort
Recitation, “your face is”
And it might help, to picture them all naked
Do you even think that is persuasive?
Would it be wrong? Would it be right?
If I say “yo mom” tonight?
Chances are that I might
Litigation’s beyond sight
And I’m contemplating lingui-cide

Chorus: Cuz I’m losing this fight
Insults don’t bite
Wishing somebody would feed me a line
Comebacks are light
Close, but not quite
Wishing somebody would feed me a line

Verse 2: I didn’t realize how insults had grew
‘Til it was too late, and now I’m battling you
Funny, “wearing Jew dreadlocks” and “humping an ewe”
My response is, “I’m rubber, your glue”
Insults flying, now they’re at my mother
No shield for myself
And much less for my mother
Hopin’ that is enough, and now we can be civil
Hearing nothing but libel and sniffles

Chorus: Cuz I’m losing this fight
Lose it each time
Nothing much better will enter my mind
Maybe I’ll try
Let a quip fly
“Guess somebody’s pant are on fire!”

Bridge: This game’s not right
You’ve crossed a line
Not funny and I’m crying…
I’m crying…
I’m crying…
I’m crying…
I’m crying…
I… can’t… go… on… speaking… this… way

Hook: My comebacks are the weakest
Each one’s a bad retort
Provocation’s not needed
Won’t say too much, cuz yo momma’s got feelings!
This is so wrong, it is not right!
I won’t take a single jibe
Chances are, you just might
Denigration’s not type
I’m not contemplating it this time

Chorus: Cuz I’m winning this fight
Keep my mouth tight
Wish somebody’d just tell me that’s fine
Winning this fight
Being so kind
Wish somebody’d just tell me that’s fine
Not gonna fight
Not one bad line
Not running and not crying

Outro: I won’t go on speaking this way!
Won’t go on!
Speaking this way!
Have no good lines!
If you didn't like this well... so's your face! Kelly Rippa!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

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TJC - October 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Clever funny stuff---erudite with a deft touch of hyperbole!
Max Power - October 18, 2016 - Report this comment
Sometimes the best retort is done with a fist.
Abbott Skelding - October 18, 2016 - Report this comment
Funny stuff, you managed to throw a lot of examples in there, but I think like with Matty's entry, the pacing wasn't perfect (which I guess we can chalk up to the OS being a pain in the butt). Good job!
bobpiecheese - October 18, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Looks like you and I had the same idea for this one (cheap plug: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/paparoach71.shtml). Luckily yours was entirely different. Fantastic stuff (though I don't know what the Jew dreadlocks was all about), 555 better insults!
Matthias - October 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Nice use of 10 point words in here it really made the character seem even nerdier especially since I didn't know what a few of those big words meant pretty much the opposite of my dummy character on this tune

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