I've just been sitting here
Reading the newspaper
Constipation
No pooping
Just sitting on the toliet
Waiting for something
Where are the Laxatives?

It's been three hours
Sitting on the John
Constipation
No pooping
I'm pushing but nothing is coming
I think I'm gonna die
Someone please help me
It's gonna take all night
If the phone's for me
Just tell them I'm busy
My bum is plugged
And it really hurts

Cause I'm sitting all day
Sitting all night
Wish this crap would stop right now
Getting mad
This is sad
Wish this crap would stop right now

Shouldn't have eaten that pie
That pizza was good didn't agree with me
Oh man
My stomach really hurts
All that ice cream where do I begin?
I've been sitting here on the pot
It's taking too long should I see a doctor?
Oh yeah
I think this is a problem
Hey I'm constipated!

(Chorus)
I'm screaming and I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying

I can't go on
I need Ex-lax

I've been sitting here
For 10 straight hours now
Constipation
No pooping
Just sitting on the toliet
Waiting for something
It's gonna take all night
If the phone's for me
Just tell them I'm busy
My bum is plugged
And it really hurts

(Chorus)
Nothing right now
Pushing so hard
I'm screaming and I'm crying

I can't go poop
My butt is plugged

Can't go poop
This is painful

Can't take a
Dump!