(Phone rings)

(Voice on the phone) Ma – ia – hii, ma – ia – hoo, ma – ia – hah, ma – ia – haha. (X4)

(Guy answering the phone) Hello? Who’s this? Sorry I can’t, what....pardon?
Look, I don’t speak German, or Spanish, or whatever.
Hello? Hello? You’ve got the wrong number. Who are you? Is this a joke?
I think I’m gonna hang up now.

Wait a sec don’t want to seem racist, I’m not a racist, he’ll think that I’m a racist. Better humour this little foreign bloke, or I could spark world war three.
Me no speaky Italian, I am from Britain, we only speak English here. Well actually some people do speak Welsh, but no-one really cares about them.
Listen...to me...hang up...right now. Hello? This better not be a return charge call!
Hello? Hello? Could you please just go? But I’m not like that, not prejudiced, after all I’ve seen Schindler’s List.

Wait a sec don’t want to seem racist, I’m not a racist, he’ll think that I’m a racist. Better humour this little foreign bloke, or I could spark world war three.
Sorry but I just don’t have the time, I’m a busy man, I have got to go to work. I’m sure you have got to go as well; those clothes pegs won’t sell themselves.

(Voice on the phone) Ma – ia – hii, ma – ia – hoo, ma – ia – hah, ma – ia – haha. (X4)

Right that’s it! Now, who the hell is this? Is this you bloody kids? Are you just taking the piss?! I’m going to call immigration; get you sent back where you came from.
Oh my God that sounded so racist, I’m not a racist, please don’t think I’m a racist. And I didn’t mean MY God either; you can worship all the cows you want.