Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "In Traction"

Original Song Title:

"Ms Jackson"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

OutKast

Parody Song Title:

"In Traction"

The Lyrics

Dedicated to Arwen, a tale of a co-ordinationally-challenged person whose leisurely pursuits all result in disaster.
Yeah, this song right here goes out to all my body's traumas.
Ruptures.
I'm half a carcass.
Maimed and gormless.
Just broken bits.

My body's in traction.
Ooh, trying to heal.
Never meant to break my upper spine.
Tried some exercise, the risky kind.
My body's in traction.
Ooh, covered in weals.
Evidently aching, paralysed.
Why are all of my hobbies unwise?

Board games are rather boring, so I play.
Outside doing things like tackling boys,
Arm dislocated from the footy blokes knocking me sideways.
Love to get out. Free in the air and the sky. I may go hike out.
Acquire gout, then twist my neck and ankle and burn my eyes out.

I love to do an abseil, without cables, from a sea cliff.
Diving school, aikido, medical bills increasing.
Just have a run at everything, though getting maimed at every stadium.
I got to give up sport or risk a busted jaw from pavement slalom.

Yeah I'm prone to accidents, when I'm outside sporting. It can get violent.
My bad hip slides or pops out and my thigh's displaced. 's no surprise, man.
Can't fight it. I know that I just broke my leg as I fell down.
Yell “Ow!” Got paramedics on speed dial, better call now.

My body's in traction.
Ooh, why so much zeal?
Every action claims more blood and bile.
Been hospitalised a million times.
My body's in traction.
Ooh, road-rash skin peels.
Ever went to take a paraglide?
I must follow guide's advice next time.

Not a skateboarder. Not the best of aim with a gun.
You say ‘race doggies chomp'. But I adore toe stumps!
Hopeless, a greenhorn. Elbow breaks from tennis.
I am good at tricky cryptics, I just can't kickflip or balance.

Oh dammit, get knocked out each time that I try a highdive.
And twist my muscles from a luge on down a steep incline.
Injuries when I jump in a ring. Bullfighting men,
Are laughing at my gored rear-end.

Athletic jokes as I go to hurl and toss a javelin.
“He kiddin'? You'll heave a javelin? It's never happenin'!”
A javelin never seems that long until it's thrown.
How hopeless, it impaled me straight through the calf, skewered bone.

In traction the incisions are cut through fleshy butt.
Require these excisions to get out the debris, jetsam matter.
Busted knees, cuts that bleed, ruptured spleen.
Accidents happen so my healing aint terribly- fast.
I maim my crotch when tryin' to ski. A real- ass.
My doctors are just steaming so I feel, daft.

All broken bones and haemorrhaging fluid.
And yes I need cosmetic surgery, sutures and amputation.

My body's in traction.
Ooh, trying to heal.
Never meant to break my upper spine.
Tried some exercise, the risky kind.
My body's in traction.
Ooh, covered in weals.
Evidently aching, paralysed.
Why are all of my hobbies unwise?

Look at the surgeons treat me,
The medical payroll needs me.
Cuz the hospital had one nurse,
But for me they need nineteen, see.

My mouth is battered, my chest is tattered,
Insides are hanging out.
It's what they expect from a weekend of sports,
Hockey stick up in my bowel.

You know they pluck it out. Agility? Sport ability? Not me!
Leads to a beating, inj'ry, another week of medics treating.
So if you race and get maimed or just split a limb playing baseball.
You're my kind of guy, man. See you at intensive care ward, you and your traumas!

My body's in traction.
Ooh, why so much zeal?
Every action claims more blood and bile.
Been hospitalised a million times.
My body's in traction.
Ooh, road-rash skin peels.
Ever went to take a paraglide?
I must follow guide's advice next time.

My body's in traction.
Ooh, trying to heal.
Never meant to break my upper spine.
Tried some exercise, the risky kind.
My body's in traction.
Ooh, covered in weals.
Evidently aching, paralysed.
Why are all of my hobbies unwise?
Despite the enormity, I might have a go at a recording.Then again, I'd probably end up electrocuting myself and choking on the microphone...

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - February 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Talk about me being a major loser! I can't believe it took me so long to get to this, Luke!! It's FAB-ulous, and amazingly true to life...=) Although, I actually broke my LOWER spine...not upper, silly...; )

I love Love LOVE the original...and I love this parody...why in the hell hasn't anyone else stopped by??
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Because they're bastards. Major loser bastards.
Jeff Reuben - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
That's my cue =) People haven't stopped by because "Arwen" was in the comments, not the title. So no one saw it. Otherwise you'd have like 58 votes and comments, plus at least 7 scrums. DKTOS (I have to get back to speed with more current songs, maybe parody one today or something). But I have some knowledge of the subject matter and was able to enjoy it.
Ashkicksass - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I have no excuse for not coming over earlier. But damn, it was worth the wait! This is freakin' Awesome Luke!
Arwen - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
That's more like it! (I'm glad you are strong enough to admit the truth about my appeal, Jeff...; )...)
Leo Jay - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good on you, mate. Well done.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Are you suggesting that we Aussies say 'well done' alot? ;)
Rich Kapalin - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
How hard it is to write a parody of a rap song, but you did it very well. All 5's here!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rich Kapalin. If you click my name above (nifty new feature, ChuckyG!) you can see my elegant accruement of other rap parodies.
Adagio - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS...good read.
Red Ant - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(I-05) I missed the announcement of Arwen's misfortunes, but still very good Luke.
Rich Kapalin - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Well, I left my comments before, but here I am again! LOL
Arwen - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--still love this, Luke...=)
Mikey Squirrel - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very funny. DKTOS but it kept me in stitches. haha. Tri-Fives.
Johnny D - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Just the sheer length of this parody had me laughing out loud for real! Great, great job, Luke. Watch out, you might make EmiLoca jealous.
Stuart McArthur - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
( I ) - Huge effort, Luke! - I wish I K the OS for this to work better for me, but lots of funny lines, as usual
Scathe - July 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-I) LOL
Rick C - July 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Painfully funny, Luke (or Jake, or Ralph, I'm all confused) Definitely high fivers.
Adam Eccleshall - July 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS, but it reads funny :-)
Dee Range - July 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(I) Wish I knew the OS, this was a great read. But stay away from me !!!
Ethan Mawyer - July 17, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC - I do know the original for this, and it obviously took a lot of effort... but maybe you should've spent a little less effort on rhyming with the original and more on rhyming like the original. Infinitely better, of course, than anything i've ever done with this song. The video would be hilarious, but i'd probably feel bad for laughing
martha - July 17, 2005 - Report this comment
yet again ... epic stuff!!
Jeff Reuben - July 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Tough break...although I have to admit I wouldn't feel bad for laughing.
MysteryGoat - July 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS and don't like hip-hop, this was decent though. Reminds me of Eugene from Hey Arnold.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/outkast48.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 916