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Song Parodies -> "Roethlisberger (Story of a Nerd)"

Original Song Title:

"Absolutely (Story of a Girl)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Nine Days

Parody Song Title:

"Roethlisberger (Story of a Nerd)"

Parody Written by:

carly_carlz

The Lyrics

I decided to take a brief break from writing "Taylor" to write this emergency parody. As you know, I'm a big Steelers fan, so I was disgusted to hear about what Ben Roethlisberger did. If you don't know already, he sexually assaulted women. That's right, PLURAL. Let's just say they will eventually find someone with better values to replace him. Here is my 2 cents and what I did following the revelations. I hate Ben Thoughtless-berger.
This is the story of a jerk
The quarterback who assaulted some girls
Ya know, he looks so bad in photographs
Ben Roethlisberger's ready for a trial

The Steelers receive lots of cheers
But after what he did they only get jeered
Young women he tried to endear
But it made local news and he lost his appeal
I know that he isn't married
He could very well be the next Tiger Woods
His fans used to drink lots of beer
When he scored a touchdown but look at him now

He lost all respect from Pittsburgh that day
They'll never look Big Ben quite the same way
I never run out of mean stuff I want to say

This is the story of a jerk
The quarterback who assaulted some girls
Ya know, he looks so bad in photographs
Ben Roethlisberger's ready for a trial

Made like Roger Waters some way
Furiously spat on my jersey that day
His actions were very risque
So the NFL should just say "Go away"
I always thought he was decent
Did work for charities and stuff like that
Sorry, but I was so wrong
He's just another sex-addicted dumb jock

He lost all respect from Pittsburgh that day
They'll never look Big Ben quite the same way
I never run out of mean stuff I want to say

This is the story of a jerk
The quarterback who assaulted some girls
Ya know, he looks so bad in photographs
Ben Roethlisberger's ready for a trial

-guitar solo-

He lost all respect from Pittsburgh that day
They'll never look Big Ben quite the same way
I never run out of mean stuff I want to say

This is the story of a jerk
The quarterback who assaulted some girls
Ya know, he looks so bad in photographs
Ben Roethlisberger's ready

This is the story of a jerk
Hometown hero turned into a turd
Ya know, he looks so bad in photographs
Ben Roethlisberger's ready

This is the story of a jerk
Sidney Crosby agrees, he's a perve
Ya know, he looks so bad in photographs
Ben Roethlisberger's ready

To be fired.
TO BE FIRED!
Don't worry guys. Taylor will be continued!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - April 20, 2010 - Report this comment
carly - if Ben ends up with a criminal record, I'm certain the Bengals will pick him up instantly! ;D
Johnny Maddin - April 20, 2010 - Report this comment
carly_carlz comes up the middle and slams Roethlis-pervert down hard for the sack! This kid can really play!
Phil N - April 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Good parody, didn't know about this before. 5's
Edward Genereux - April 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Had this occurred six years ago, perhaps the Vikings would have purchased him to play with Randy Moss; Moss is certainly a Criminal Football Leaguer, or CFLer as my dad calls him.

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