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Song Parodies -> "linux(dot)com"

Original Song Title:

"Rockstar"

Original Performer:

Nickelback

Parody Song Title:

"linux(dot)com"

Parody Written by:

Joseph Rhodes

The Lyrics

There are issues here. Some distributions are not free, and some vendors try to sell support. So very many _are_ free, though, that this issue should not be serious. Most people don't want to run the operating system on a computer as much as they want to surf the Internet, use office productivity tools, edit photos, and so on. Linux refers to the kernel rather than much of the good stuff that can run on it. All trademarks, service marks, etc., are the property of their respective owners. The opinions expressed are opinions. So far, I dislike Windows 8, but I don't think I can prove objectively that it's "bad." The issue with the compatibility layer is that at least one of us would like Apple to release an official version of iTunes for Linux and not leave us to Wine and Wine Doors to try to make it work (the letters in Wine roughly stand for Wine is not an emulator (but a compatibility layer)). There are probably at least some people who would abandon Windows altogether if iTunes worked natively under Linux. I wrote the first part of the parody a few years ago, and I discovered it doesn't flow as well as I had hoped after I listened to "Rockstar" on YouTube several times recently. I posted what I'd written in places where I thought someone would see it, be interested, and write more or finish it, but I haven't found any evidence that anyone has, so I finished it myself. I liked the layout of linux(dot)org when I wrote the first part, but the browser couldn't find its way there if I simply typed linux.org in the URL bar, but it _could_ find its way to linux.com . However, the last time I checked, the browser could find its way to both. Not everything that runs on Linux is open-source. Different distributions ("distros") have their pros and cons just as the Atari 800, Commodore VIC 20, Commodore 64, and so on had their own pros and cons back in the day. It's likely that there are other issues I've failed to address, so tell us about them in the Comments section.
I've got a PC at home
That should be workin' just fine,
But Windows pauses, crashes, burns
And restarts so many times;
I know that there must be an
OS somewhere out there for me.

(Think about a Mac.)

I don't want brand-new stuff
For which I must pay a lot
'Cause the hardware's not even close to shot.
Apple's good, but still, I want to
Use this PC.

(Yeah. So whatcha need?)

I need a...a cool OS that's nearly perfect
That can detect hardware and configure it.
If it must be less than perfect, I want freedom-kind-of-free.

(And you'll do what?)

I want to process words; edit pictures, too;
Surf the 'net, and then instant message you
And not have to pay a hundred, or two, or three.

(So where you gonna visit?)

I'm gonna head on o'er to linux(dot)com
And look at just how far the software's come,

'Cause I want my PC to soar and fly,
Not slow down, stumble, fall over and then to die.
Updates are easy and the software's free;
It's how the distro's gonna always be,

And I'll learn more about how to code
So that I'll give back when I'm growing old.
Open-source solutions are already here;
It's the voice of Linux in my mental ear sayin',

“Hey, hey, come visit linux(dot)com”
“Hey, hey, come visit linux(dot)com”

I looked at Windows 8 and I left it wonderin'
Why Microsoft left its developers blunderin'
Now a small device is fine for some people, but not me.

(I want a giant tower.)

And if we learn XP, but then they make changes,
Then a lot of folks will be full of rages.
Why major in math if two plus one is suddenly no longer three?

(Where else you gonna visit?)

I'll visit Distrowatch while lookin' around;
Also, the Live CD List makes me proud

'Cause I want my PC to soar and fly,
Not slow down, stumble, fall over and then to die.
Updates are easy and the software's free;
It's how the distro's gonna always be,

And I'll learn more about how to code
So that I'll give back when I'm growing old.
Open-source solutions are already here;
It's the voice of Linux in my mental ear,

But the compatibility layer
Will cause the users' tempers to eventually flare,
So maybe Apple will open up its eyes
And see dislike of Microsoft is no surprise. Well,

Hey, hey, I'll visit linux(dot)com

I will use LibreOffice to process words, yeah,
And let GIMP turn me into an image nerd;
Let the package manager stay up-to-date
And have nothing left in my life for me to hate.

Yes, I want my PC to soar and fly;
Not slow down, stumble, fall over, and then to die.
Updates are easy and the software's free;
It's how the distro's gonna always be,

And I'll learn more about how to code
So that I'll give back when I'm growing old.
Open-source solutions are already here;
It's the voice of Linux in my mental ear,

But the compatibility layer
Will cause the users' tempers to eventually flare,
So maybe Apple will open up its eyes
And see dislike of Microsoft is no surprise. Well,

Hey, hey, I'll visit linux(dot)com
Hey, hey, I'll visit linux(dot)com
I don't know everything about the GNU Public License, the "Some Rights Reserved" intricacies, the Creative Commons' Share Alike terms, and so on, but in the spirit of passing something around so others can improve it (Ubuntu is up to version 13.10, and the same spirit helped it reach said point), consider rewriting the parody with the above as a framework if any of it will be useful. I simply ask that you state somewhere in the comments that the original version was not yours, and that you make the same request in your comments.

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