"Come meet our office staff
Happy fam'ly of Karmoor-Taff
Let's me the gang, call me Ted
I'll introduce each department head

First of all, meet David Krupp
He heads our marketing, but messed it up
Tried to get Madonna's spokesperson clout
So we got Roseanne Barr when she bailed out

Phillip Jay heads accounting pool
Rules with iron hand, he's nobody's fool
Takes up the ledgers, cooks them up real nice
Then shreds the debits, don't you forget about his slice

Ah here now is Donald Trate
Our HR guy, his work is really great
He knows how to write up a vacation
Put the petty cash back in rotation

HMOs
Cost sky high

Every employee who comes through Karmoor-Taff's door
Can look forward to look up way past the glass floor
'Cause you can make it, if you're quiet
Good guys, good guys
Like the way Karmoor and Taff opened their first store
Thanks to the Cosa Nostra, which you cannot ignore
Be sure to play it close to jacket
Big guy, big guy

There's team member Reinhold Kincaid
An MIT scholar, but he's underpaid
He's our gofer, we send him out
For pizza or bagels when morale is down

Who's that watching Youtube videos?
That's Harry Wong, IT guy you should know
He said that he's got us a fantastic deal
On some PCs that run on gears and wheels

Now who's next on my list?
There's Jim Stavros, don't you get him pissed
He's the head of the R&D den
Comes out of the basement now and then

Yo, yo, yo!
Yo, Todd-Hi!

Every employee who comes through Karmoor-Taff's door
Can look forward to look up way past the glass floor
'Cause you can make it, if you're quiet
Good guys, good guys
Like the way Karmoor and Taff opened their first store
Thanks to the Cosa Nostra, which you cannot ignore
Be sure to play it close to jacket
Big guy, big guy"

Resist that frown
And kiss some asses
Pick up the pace
You won't regret it
This is it now
You're gonna climb it
This is your day
Can you believe it?

"Yes our business really pays
If you are willing to let yourself change

So now we are coming to the President's door
You have to knock first, he might be engaged with a whore
But that's a secret, don't you spread it
Big guy, big guy"
And as he opened that brass-handled door
I realized that I couldn't really take it anymore
To lose my ethic, got me so sick
Goodbye, goodbye

Met all of the office staff
As I ran away, I heard them laugh
As I ran away, I heard them...