I get home from work and my two kids are gone.
A note on the table makes my knees go numb.
It says, "Yeah, I got your kids, and I got a gun-
I want 20,000 to pay the ransom!"
Well, I'm glad that he took my kids, I didn't like them anyway.
Now I can start clearing out their rooms for my new home arcade.
Well I sure can't thank him enough, cuz my life is mine again.
And I hope he took some extra clothes
Cuz theirs weren't washed since last weekend!

(Chorus)
Now it's kinda quiet, so I think think think
I'll put my feet up on the table, leave the dishes in the sink and:
How my gonna act, how my gonna handle that?
The kids are really gone and they'll never come back.
-repeat-

There's no need to reminisce on the past.
Forget all the good times along with the bad.
I know that my boyfriend will be happy too.
If you lost your kids you'd be glad wouldn't you??
I can buy more clothes for me, and premium cable T.V.
Gonna invite all my friends and celebrate cuz I am free.
Gonna order pizza tonight. Watch movies till three a.m.
Gonna buy some birth control cuz I'm not getting pregnant again!!!

Chorus

Let's drink up the Pepsi and Mountain Dew. Eat all of the ice cream and potato chips, too.
I might take a trip to Malibu, cuz if you did you would love it too.
Take your jacket off, you can just relax:
You can spit and swear and scratch, What about that?!
Can you handle that yo, cuz I can't handle that and, I feel so
Freeeeeeeeee!!!

Chorus