Your ratings may be gone,
Well Ima carry you on,
Watching everyday at 3,
Yeah at 3,
And maybe you'll get lucky and win another emmy,
Well I don't know, I don't know, I don't think so,

Well this is this and that is that,
I'm cheating on you girl, and I got your sister fat,
It got away from me. You know that I'm sorry.
Well punching my mom got me sent to jail,
Maury get my postcard, it arrived in the mail.
We'll be right back, Yeah be right back.

We have a new season. Want to be on the show?
Then just go to mauryshow.com
Or maybe you can go and call now,
If you're 14 and pregnant or cheating yo.

Well this is this and that is that
Fat guy dating some girl who's stacked
Now tying the knot. Now tying the knot.
Well looking through a window,
Yeah he ruined my life,
We'll be right back, Yeah be right back.

Well that is that and this is this,
During the break, here's what you missed,
When the guy saw a pickle, and nearly died.
You missed when when the fat girl said she forgave her man, and cried.
When the girl ran from the balloons,
And said, "I'm stuck, for my sake I hope that you take them away, I don't like the texture at all, but I must face my fears"
And then she screamed and I laughed,
And then she screamed and I laughed,

-rest-

Well that's the Maury show, will you watch it again?
I'd like to thank our guests, crowd, and viewers,
The more we have these types, the more boring it gets,
But I don't mind, If you don't mind, does the FCC mind?

Well that is it we have no chance,
Few more days, we'll be canceled,
Well I know so, Well I know so, It sucks I know.

Well ain't it clear he should be hung?
Or retire, and divorce Chung?
When the show finally ends.
He wasted my life, time to find the knife.