Now…
Pool I love to play
In fact it’s how I earn my pay
Making trick shots and betting

But they…
Closed down my old bar
And in this one seeing is hard
Smoke fills the air… (Cough, cough, cough)

Could you crack open the door?
Because it’s too dang smoky here (Nooooo!)
Open windows in this place
This pub is a disgrace
It’s too smoky here…
I choke on the air

You…
Bet cash on billiards game
In the smoke it’s hard to aim
You light up a cigarette (Yech!)

So I dunked the 8-ball in shame
I lost it all in the first frame
“Goddamn!” I swear!!!
“Damn, Damn, Damn!”

So don’t bum me for a light
Or ask me for a ‘Camel’ now
Nooooo!
Because I’m red in the face
My fame has been erased
Due to ‘Marlboros’
D’Oh!
It’s too smoky here…
Dude, I need a beer
Crap! Crap! Crap!

Of all the gin joints in all the towns on Earth
I had to bet in yours and now I’m down to squat
Cigarettes are bad for your health!

Could you install some air vents?
Because your bar’s too smoky now!

Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!

Need to find another place
Gay club plays “Ace of Base”
‘No smoking allowed’
Bets, bets… Bets, bets
Cash flow
Yeah, yeah
Not broke

Though I get hit on by guys…
Their wallets are running dry…
And as quickly as I break
Their money I do take
Back to gambling now
(Moola)
I’m not choking now