How dare you say that my decision just gives you the chills
The doctor's only gonna put me on some sulfa pills
I have a tendency to urinate with such a thrill
So watch your step 'cause if I do, your day is all downhill

I drain me dry and you have no idea how it feels
And when I'm done, like Mr. Jingles I just wanna squeal
It burns like heck and this infection doesn't wanna yeild
I'm fit to funkin' wet the ground on which I plant my heels

When the old bladder's full
And I got to take me a leak
Feel that burning sensation and
Those razor blades exit me
Like a little girl cries, I do
From this pain, I'll never be free
Can I have some more Coffey
'Cause it's getting harder and harder to pee
Can you pour some more Coffey
'Cause it's getting harder and harder to pee

What this is doing is screwing my sex life up, that's all
It didn't help when Wild Bill kicked me right in the balls
Straight to the ground, my blazing body it did fall
Hoping that Percy someday would answer duty's call!

When it gets cold outside
A full bladder's much worse to me
I understand if you think my thoughts
Are weird for a death row employee
Got halfway to the outhouse once
But I fell straight down to my knees
Can I have some more Coffey
'Cause it's getting harder and harder to pee
Can you pour some more Coffey
'Cause it's getting harder and harder to pee

Does it kill
Does it wrack
And can he take it back
Well he touched me with all the control

Then he coughed
And he spit
All those bugs had a fit
And they faded, so nobody told

What did he do to me?
I thought I'd better go see
So I stepped in the bathroom
And I pulled out Mr. Wee Wee
Now there's only one problem here
And that problem just seems to be
Everytime that I touch it
It's getting harder and harder to pee
Is Mae West really out there
'Cause it's getting harder and harder to pee