[Simon]

(Ah well now) When I started, in '01
My mama sat me down and told me "Say 'No' to them all."
Well, now I, I still say "No."
I send them all thru therapy and they want to kill me.
Well now I, I beg you not to beg me, I can't take it the way you will not give in.
But look at you, on your knees, singing flat all the time, Stop it, puh-leeze.
I said You cannot sing good, well
Said you cannot sing good, uh uh
I said you cannot sing good!

Chorus
You don't know how to sing! You sing flat like that!
I don't care where you've sung, but you're singing really flat.
Now who the heck taught you to sing the way you do?
You won't be smiling by the time I'm through with you
You don't know how to sing!

[Randy]

(Ah well now) I'm not cheating, I'm no liar
I can't explain it, simply put you just cannot sing at all.
Now stand up and be a star.
If you want it, baby sing out, but you can't sing worth a darn.
I said you can't sing worth a darn.
Well you know that, if you want it, baby sing out, if you want it, oww

Chorus

[Paula]

(Ah well now) When I was a little girl
My mama said "There's a positive side to everything."
Well, now she, she told me true.
You can dance and that's a start but stardom is hard to get.

[Simon]

Well now I, I hate to differ baby. I can't take it the way he shakes his booty.

[Paula]

But look at him, on his knees, sweet as sugar, baby.

[Simon]

Stop it, puh-leeze!!!
I say he cannot sing good, I
Say he cannot sing good, uh uh
I say he's going on home!

Chorus
Now pack your bags and go! You sing flat like that!
I don't care where you've sung, but you're singing really flat.
Now who the heck taught you to sing the way you do?
You won't be smiling by the time I'm through with you
You don't know how to sing! You sing flat like that!
I don't care where you've sung, but you're singing really flat.
Now who the heck taught you to sing the way you do?
You won't be smiling by the time I'm through with you
You don't know how to sing!