Stalking My Dentist

Put in my new dentures
But I started to faint.
Touched gum with a glob of Polident
And already I was feeling pain.
W.C. Fieldsy, what did you do to me?
Cause I got a mouth of Chicklets
That make me sore as a boy can be.

Stalking my dentist.
Stalking cuz my teeth can't bite for real.
Stalking my dentist.
Why did you make me feel the way I feel?

Sorta broke my pelvis
On Union Avenue.
Coughed sucking down a chili cheese dog--
And out my dentures flew!
Now insecurity it did seize me,
But I tried not to make a fuss.
There's a sick little thief
Who ran off with my teeth
When I got hit by that bus!

Stalking my dentist.
Stalking cuz my teeth can't bite for real.
Stalking my dentist.
Why did you make me feel the way I feel?

I've got apples on my table.
And I'm craving surf and turf.
But W.C. refuses to see me.
Cuz I'm no longer insured.
I've got a real bad dentist.

Now Muriel has an uncle:
Said he would gladly make a hit.
And she brought me down to see him.
Same quack-and his did not fit!
So we did a little murder.
The doc begged with all his might.
I asked, "Tell me now are you sorry?"
He said, "Mam, I am tonight!"

And we bumped off our dentist.
Knocked out his teeth so he'd get the gist.
No more stalking my dentist.
But how do I really feel about my proctologist?