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Song Parodies -> "Omnitheism"

Original Song Title:

"I'm So Fly"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Lloyd Banks

Parody Song Title:

"Omnitheism"

Parody Written by:

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The Lyrics

This song is about the ultimate form of "playing it safe", believing and actively following every religion ever known to mankind in hopes that one of them will save your soul after you die. Enjoy!
Yeah!
Yeah!

Godly guy,
I've got beliefs and I hope one of them will assure me a home,
In the sky,
I share beliefs with everybody, every shape and size,
My rabbi,
Says that I don't have much of a life but I'll be prepared,
When I die,
I've got beliefs that encompass every religion known to mankind,

I'm a Buddha and a guru,
My cross and my voodoo,
And I'm sure I know more about the Qur'an than you do,
Oh, I pray to all my gods and all of my children do too,
I'll grab the Torah,
And analyze the Buddha's notes on the Diaspora,
My wives spend time with Jesus, He is my brother,
And we're sure to give the cattle the respect that they deserve,
Now who is saying that Mohammad is dead?
If he was, then why'd I have this turban on my head?
If only you knew the reason why Jesus bled,
You'd abandon your atheism and do what I did, instead,
On the block I'm from, people sin close to the forty nines,
Just think of all this water Jesus could turn into wines,
I'll listen to your point of view and I'll concur,
And give a big "ahoy!" for the Flying Spaghetti Monster,
The streamers are flown,
For the people who followed their calling and took the Jihad route home,

Godly guy,
I've got beliefs and I hope one of them will assure me a home,
In the sky,
I share beliefs with everybody, every shape and size,
My rabbi,
Says that I don't have much of a life but I'll be prepared,
When I die,
I've got beliefs that encompass every religion known to mankind,

Don't confuse me with the others,
I'm a Sunni, man, and I won't take no more of your shi'ite,
God forgives an Aryan,
But only his noodeliness can forgive a Pastafarian,
I end all of my prayers in sacred sneezes,
As I wait, on the hill, for the return of Jesus,
Look, I am no suicide bomber,
Because when we lose a great martyr, all our people are somber,
Your ways are corrupt, kid,
You're heading into a storm; let me know if you want the way back home,
People can't give offering,
So I give it right to God, end the world's suffering,
Look around, I've got 40 men,
And books? I've written 10,
And I'm ready to take a bullet,
For the Bible while I patrol it,
My own world, I'll control it,
I'm fresh out of Mecca,
Scrap what your guys said,
On my way back, I saw where Lazarus was raised from the dead,

Godly guy,
I've got beliefs and I hope one of them will assure me a home,
In the sky,
I share beliefs with everybody, every shape and size,
My rabbi,
Says that I don't have much of a life but I'll be prepared,
When I die,
I've got beliefs that encompass every religion known to mankind,

When I travel, I know I'm gonna get stuck,
They don't like my turban or my shoe bomb that I've stuck,
I've got the patience of a golden Buddha,
I'm a real balla',
Why the hell would I bring dishonor to Allah?
I worship the ways of the hackers,
I play Stairway to Heaven backwards,
And Marilyn Manson is my pastor,
I don't have a father, I'm a bastard,
And Jedi use sabers, we don't believe in use of blasters,
I'm on the road to see Bethlehem,
No one knows what that's costin',
Forget where the green's goin',
I keep my prayers flowin',
I thank Buddha for all the blessings he's been stowin',
So I'm the Dalai Lama and the Pope, see?
While also the leader of the Jedi following,
I pray all my days,
So you don't have to go all the way to Mecca to give Allah his praise,

Godly guy,
I've got beliefs and I hope one of them will assure me a home,
In the sky,
I share beliefs with everybody, every shape and size,
My rabbi,
Says that I don't have much of a life but I'll be prepared,
When I die,
I've got beliefs that encompass every religion known to mankind.
In real life, I represent Jesus and Christianity so, if you're not a religious person, don't turn to omnitheism like the song suggests.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

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John Barry - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but the parody's superb.

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