4+9. . . 49
Stammering and stuttering all the time
I'm slow (repeat 6x)
Staring out the window
Looking at the wall
Always trip and fall
Even when I crawl
I can't speak very clearly
No one understand
Always yell - can you hear me?
No one understand

Soundin' drunk
But I'm sober; clean
I just slur the words
'Cause I just can't read
And my mind
Ain't worth a dime
Did Hooked On Phonics 'bout 50-11 times
Now this guy Ed is a friend of mine
Teacher always say he need to calm down
He always fallin' cracks his head on the ground
Here he come, but don't worry - he's on Ritalin now.

Hi my name is Ed and I'm wearin' a helmet
I put it on my head so the helmet protects it
38 years in - special classes
Readin' the board with - special glasses
I sp- I spell the alphabet like this
It's A-B-C-F-G-D-S
Now the teacher and the class 'gone clap with me
'Cause we all like to do math and history
Like Chris Columbus made the light bulb
And Sigmund Freud had a boyfriend he called Roy
Now take it to the board
Now you can add or subtract
No wait - you only add? Just do that.

(Chorus)

Let me see if you slow, y'all!
IMPAIRED, IMPAIRED!
Touch your hands to your toes, y'all!
IMPAIRED, IMPAIRED!
Let me see if you slow, y'all!
IMPAIRED, IMPAIRED!
Touch your hands to your toes, y'all!
IMPAIRED, IMPAIRED!

Now -
Scratch - scratch - scratch your butt!
Scratch - scratch - scratch your butt!
Scratch - scratch - scratch your butt!
Scratch - scratch - scratch your butt!

Now STOP!
And smell your finger.
STOP!
And smell your finger.
STOP!
And smell your finger.
STOP!
And smell your finger - smell your finger.

(Chorus)