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Song Parodies -> "Teleport"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

'Ello, 'Ello, Gov'na
I'm here in London for some tea
I had some breakfast in Egypt, Saw mummies
How-how-how did I do this, well, allow me explain
Made a new invention, Better than some plane

Da-don't need a plane
Wa-won't need a train
With my new invention that's so off the chain!

In a second I can be in France for the ballet
And when that is through I might go to Japan, Great!
Did I mention both my hands are free? Just walk in this machine
And say the the place you want to be, It's really easy!

Appallin', Ain't crawlin' down the street to the grocery store
I think instead I'll go shop in Singapore
No stallin', I'm sprawlin' all the way to the Jersey Shore
I won't be late I depart right to your door

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm teleporting me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
It's crazy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm teleporting me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

You're still on your butt, I'm watching some sports
To the basketball court, I can teleport
Gonna grab grub here at some Irish Pub
Went Ireland I can teleport
You stand in those lines in the dumb airport
Won't search through my bags I can teleport
Bored in the tub in the river I'll scrub
I can now come clean I can teleport

I'll go chill with the pope in Rome and maybe be a pastor
With these gears and plaster, Traveling I've mastered
Then I'll go surf some ocean foam and fish as a line caster
Once I've figured out the vectors, I'm hoping this won't cause cancer

Kind of like Doctor Who but only space not time
And I should be admired but I'm not, It's a crime

I used to take that dumb train at Grand Central Station
But now I can hit Niagara Falls with my creation

It's my creation
It's my creation
Cause nowadays I need no car with my creation

Cars stallin', You're bawlin' I don't need that stress anymore
Walk in my shed and I'll depart to my work floor
I'm lollin, It's galling to those stuck in traffic, They'll roar
In just a bit I am off the commute is no chore
You're falling and crawling, Faster than a rocket I soar
You're stuck to a bike or a car that's such a bore
Parts haulin', installin' one in every house it's adored
You'll check out the moon even Mars you can explore

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm teleporting me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
So quickly!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm teleporting me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Get no speeding tickets so I won't be in court
There's no laws against guys who can teleport
You can stick to your sub to the ocean I'll come
Although I still might drown I can teleport
In the Netherlands find a Dutch escort
To the red-light district I teleport
When I'm wanting a club or a hoagie for lunch
No delivery I can teleport

I'll teleport
I-I-I'll teleport
Those scientists snub but those guys are scum
Cause they can't believe I can teleport
I'll teleport
I-I-I'll teleport
To visit my buds or to get new duds
Takes no gas for me I can teleport

"We're sorry. The directions you installed were incorrect. If half your body is lodged in a wall or a tree we apologize for the inconvenience"

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - November 12, 2013 - Report this comment
There's a movie about teleportation with Jeff Goldblum and it's called "The Fly", I hope you'll do better than him if things go wrong...
Max Power - December 20, 2013 - Report this comment
We can all dream, even with the flaw, it's still better than dealing with the flaws from the public transportation. I hated the MTA...
Agrimorfee - December 20, 2013 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You ran into pacing problems throughout most of the first half of this Matty, wha' happen'? The writing was amusing, not your usual LOL material that I would expect.
Abbott Skelding - December 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Nice work Matty. I love the OS, but I ran into the same pacing issues that Grim mentioned. Funny work, and I love the final line as well, good job.
Onslaught - December 23, 2013 - Report this comment
Although I am not familiar with the OS, the subject mater carried me away
bobpiecheese - December 30, 2013 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A fair amount of pacing problems, but otherwise this was a pretty awesome parody, especially with all the time mid-line rhymes you managed to pull off, kudos there. 455!
Blaydeman - January 01, 2014 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yeah, the pacing was off in a lot of places, Matty. Still, very funny, very fun, I liked it a lot.

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