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Song Parodies -> "Primula"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Kristin Chenoweth

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

I Spoof, Therefore Amiright

The Lyrics

A celebration of tubed cheese. Enjoy!

Hovis, now that I‘m bored, I’ve decided to make you my new sandwich.


You really don’t have to do that.


I know. That’s what makes food my vice.

Whenever ever I see dishes more fattening than rye
- and lets face it, what isn’t more fattening than rye?
- my healthy heart heaves and starts and stops.
And when someone has a baking sale
that really isn’t making sale,
I know, I know just what tastes good with the crops.
And even on cheap plaice,
though that’s the toughest plaice that you could face,
don’t worry, this where the health buck stops.
The whole world gawps,
when food is tops.
Bring on the…

I’m gonna need Primula.
I’ll eat all day and night
with its creamy white,
giving snacks that extra bounce.
It can go 'most anywhere,
but not in your hair.
Just add on that extra ounce -

- of the Primula.
I’ll heap on the Primula.
Give a fish some cheesy spots,
or instead of Mozz,
put on Pizza, cook real slow.
So spread out, 'cause you’ve got an awfully long way to go.

Don’t be offended that you aren’t in palaces,
think of this as culinary dialysis.
Now that I’m sure that I’m really not amiss
with lettuce, cheese and butter,
e’en though others mutter,
they have not a clue 'bout Primula
I know about Primula.
And with a squirt of cheese,
I will eat you, please,
instead of cardboard that you were…are.
There’s nothing left to dim you
from reusing Primuler…la.

La, la, la, la.
I gotta buy more Primula.

When I see unprocessed cheeses,
even with the face of Jesus,
I remind them on their on behalf to think of
celebrated buffet spreads or especially great pre-heated dinners.
Did they have brie or stilton?
Don’t make me laugh!

They had Primula…
I go for the Primula
It’s not about type or taste,
it’s the use of paste,
so I swirl it on with glee.
Lots and lots of Primula
for me.


Why, plain wholemeal loaf, look at you: you’re appetising!


I…I have to go.


You’re welcome.

Though it’s high in fat,
it is smooth and matte.
Use it unsparingly.
There is culinary merit
in all great Primularity.

La, la, la, la.
You’ll have Primula.
Just not as much Primula as me.
I own nothing

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - August 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey there, ISTA. I don't know if you're a noob here, are a nom-de-parody for a more established writer...but you certainly can write. Unfortunately, nobody's reading! Here's why I think that is...
1) The OS may be too obscure, so lots of DKTOS (including me, I'm afraid)
2) British themed parodies sadly get passed over by the site's largely American readership. You don't have to like it, but that's the way it is
3) With scores of new parodists submitting each month (and most dropping out after a short stay), in order to be read consistently you've got to be a) really good, b) established on the site, or c) both. In order to get noticed here, you've got to put some time into reading and commenting on other's parodies. It's human nature to seek out those who have taken the time to seek you out.

I wouldn't usually put so much into a comment, but I can see you've got talent which I would hate to see ignored
ISTA - August 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for all your wonderful positive feedback. I'd like to apologise to everyone for not commenting on parodies in the past. I have been unforgiveably lazy with my reviewing, although I read songs for while before writing for the site, ("I Fought the Corrs" was one of my favourites; you'd better "Runaway" quick) otherwise I'm a newbie. Thanks too for the cool mnemonic name. It shall be put to good use. I'm more into obscure forms of music, mostly musicals and country, so sometimes it's a bit difficult to right widely recogniseable songs. However, nothing's impossible. I don't mind if some people don't get one or more of my songs. There's bound to be someone out there, so I live in hope. I am endevouring to broaden my repetoire, at least a little, so I can establish myself. I'm not dropping out. I can assure you, I'm here for the long haul (my goal is to, someday, beat Malcolm). Like you said, I'd hate to ignore talent, so I shall sally forth and let the minstrels of this site know how much they have been gifted. Thanks again, ISTA
Phil Alexander - August 15, 2007 - Report this comment
I'll second what Kristof's just said (and take a quick look for the OS: never heard of it, or the artist, I'm afraid - one of the site's favourite acronyms is "Don't Know The Original Song"). Going and commenting on other authors' parodies is a good way to introduce yourself (definitely include some of Kristof's in that, as he's consistently ridiculously funny) - that's what drew me to have a look here... can't resist people calling me a genius ;-)

Just had a look, and found out that a) Kristin Chenoweth is rather gorgeous, and b) it's a song from "Wicked" - I think we may have a soundtrack CD around somewhere, so I'll be back once I've had a listen.
ISTA - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Chenoweth was the chick-flick-crazed orthodontist in "Ugly Betty" if you saw her. It's great that you've rolled out the welcome wagon for me; I really appreciate it. The musical's pretty Disneyfied, but the book could give Dante a run for his money. You should check it out. Sorry for misspelling "recognisable". A spell checker on this thing would be nice. I knew writing here would sharpen my satire sword since it's green. And to any avid "Wicked" fan that can only mean good things. For example, I found a cheery Evanescence song. I'm expecting the sky to turn emerald any minute now. ISTA Now might be a good time to mention that I've never ate Primula before.
Wicked Green Queen - August 27, 2007 - Report this comment
A YOU CAN SEE BY MY NAME----I LOOOOOOOOOVE WICKED! BTW-I did see the Ugly Betty with Kristen on it. I loved it!
ISTA - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
I miss Ugly Betty. Idina should go on it. Can't wait for her new album.

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