I want my money back (yeah)
These taxi drivers give me heart attacks (yeah)
They oughta include motion sickness bags (yeah)
Yeah, they're so rude and don't know how to act
(Take the bus instead!)

They're so thick
I really hope this trip is over quick
They drive all over; it's the same old shtick
It's just that no one makes me feel this sick
(Take 'em to the courts!)

So insane (Please don't keep goin')
Got crap for brains (Please don't keep goin')
Just can't think (Please don't keep goin')
Spilled my drink (Please don't keep goin')
They look a fright (Please don't keep goin')
And run red lights (Please don't keep goin')
Jam the brakes (Please don't keep goin')
Stomach aches (Please don't keep goin')

Call a taxi up (They just keep goin')
Call a taxi up (But they ain't slowin')
Call a taxi? No!
Get 'em off the road!

I'm in a taxicab (yeah)
Those crazy drivers have an IQ lack (yeah)
They seem to think they're on a racing track (yeah)
I think I'm gonna throw up my Big Mac
(Sped across a bridge!)

Terrified
I will not go on one more taxi ride
That will be my vow if I do survive
If someone told you it's fun, then they lied
(Sing the same 'ol chorus...)

[Yeah, that's as far as I got. I never got around to finishing it... cursed writer's block.
One of these days, I may come back and finish it.]