You were the one
That blended my fruit
I had an addiction to those fruit smoothies to-go
Had one everyday
And two everynight
I had no idea my blender would start wearing out, no

It showered me with sparks, then after that
It did explode, put glass in my...FACE
Now there's just no chance, for you and me
To have smoothies
And, yes, it makes me sad about it

You tried to consort me, it didn't help me
No surprise
Now you make me feel guilty, saying you warned me
Tears in my eyes
I bought it at Sears, but 25 years
Since then have gone by
The motor was burned, and now it's your turn...
To buy
Buy me a blender
Buy me a blender, girl
Buy me a blender
Buy me a blender, yeah, yeah

I turned on TV, one morning
To Home Shopping Network
I started to drool when I first saw
That stainless-steel blender
(With 17 speed settings!)
And one of the things that it can do
Is grind rocks into sand (grind rocks into sand)
The blender is free but its
$300 bucks for shipping

If you call within, 10 minutes
You just might get, a second one...FREE!
Now there will be two, for you and me
I'm so happy
And yet you seem so mad about it

She said I was crazy, I'm gettin' lazy
From missing work
Now she has no remorse, she wants a divorce
I'm too much a jerk
I said that was fine, she can have that is mine
You won't see me cry
But I got on my knees, begging her please...
To buy
Buy me a blender
Buy me a blender, girl
Buy me a blender
Buy me a blender, yeah, yeah

The settlement's done so I guess
She'll be leavin'...
The settlement's done so I guess
She'll be leavin'...
The settlement's done so I guess
She'll be leavin'...
The settlement's done so I guess
She'll be leavin'...

She got to keep it all, everything
Gave me nothing, 'cept the clothes on my...BACK
And I don't think I'll get, what I asked for
Cause I'm dirt poor
And, yes, I'm very sad about it

(Repeat "Buy Me A Blender" over and over...and over and over again until you are completely sick of it...)