I like to drink, go out to bars
And I never know where it is that I'll wind up, no
So I'll start to dance and then wet my pants
And it's just about that time that I'll pass out cold

It's so hard to say what I did
I won't really know the state that I'm in
But my money's gone, I spent it all on alcohol
Or else I might have lost my wallet

The shots that I'd taken will cause me to wake in the hospital
Now the doctors are wonderin' about all my blunderin' a little
But it's no joke, 'cause I'm completely broke, and I forget why
Buy I'll pay you back, so cut me some slack, and buy

Buy me a liver
Buy me a liver
Please be a giver
And buy me a liver, yeah, yeah

The surgeons all say that my liver needs to be transferred
I have to lie here waiting until they can find a donor
(At least give me a loaner)
They put me on pills and they hooked me up to a catheter
Of course, on top of all this I've still got a hangover

I don't know how my night out was
I'm in the ER, and still a bit buzzed
I'm completely drunk beyond control, get me a bowl
Because I think I'm gonna vomit

I'm totally boozy and feeling quite woozy while I'm here
Now I'm causing a stink-up, I wish I didn't drink up all that beer
Out of my gourd, I surely can't afford my hospital stay
So call me a preacher, pay for my procedure, either way

Buy me a liver (go on and just)
Buy me a liver (I feel disgust)
Maybe a sliver? (I'll bite the dust)
Buy me a liver, yeah, yeah

(Oh, no) The damage is done, think I'm gonna start heaving
(Oh, no) No money to pay for the bill I'm receiving
(Oh, no) Until my transplant, there's no way that I'm leaving
(Oh, no) If I try to run, all my friends'll be grieving

Everyone calls me "sourpuss"
I'm kind of annoyed, my liver's a wuss
My own liver's givin' up on me, it's plain to see
My life would be quite bad without it

Buy me a liver (go on and just)
Buy me a liver (no fund to trust)
Serve and deliver ('fore I combust)
Buy me a liver, yeah, yeah
Buy me a liver (go on and just)
Buy me a liver (mine's filled with crust)
Buy me a liver (it's so unjust)
Buy me a liver, yeah, yeah