Used that hot glue gun and got a welt
That smarts!
I drove a nail right through my left hand
I cry and I bleed

I am such a Klutz that coffee’s spilt
All over now
Please I’m begging you hide the power drills
Cause there’s holes in my leg!

Scorched my tie cooking curly fries
And now my chest’s burnt black
This Fast Food job is killing me
The stain is here to stay!
Broke behind trying to rock climb
No, no, no
I fell at least two hundred feet

Then I went to play some ball with you
I did
You swung and hit me with your baseball bat
Now I have to limp

I cut off my knees with that chainsaw
And walking’s hard
How I’m still alive fills you guys with awe
It’s true no pain no gain!

Now I’m blind a pen’s stuck in my eye
I fell asleep in Math
But I can’t let that bother me
I’m getting used to pain!
Slipped on slime now my back’s not fine
Ow, ow, ow!
Cause I’ve landed on a rake

(Now my spine it really aches)

I need a few Band-Aids!
Fresh baked pie’s too hot my tongue fried
Now taste buds I do lack
Body parts in agony!
I broke my everything!
Don’t know why God keeps me alive
Oh, oh, oh
My clumsiness does bother me

I am in pain
I am in pain
I am in pain
I am in pain! Oy Vey!!!