You are my cable, ethernet cable
You set me browsing, 'most every day
Because this campus
Has not gone wireless
Please don't take my cable away

It was last Friday, as we were moving
I tried connecting in the dorms
Typed through the passage
Got error message
And I slapped my head and sighed

You are my cable, ethernet cable
I know you're working just fine today
So what's the issue?
Why can't I get through?
Please just take these problems away

Can't check my myspace
Or update facebook
I can't submit a parody
To my favorite site
It's called am-I-right
Now I'll never catch Malcolm

You are my cable, ethernet cable
I feel like shouting, "This is so gay!"
I called my RD
He's at a party
Please don't make me drive home or pay

There was a number
To call the help desk
But all it did was ring and ring
I talked to my friend
He couldn't log in
What could we be doing wrong?

You are my cable, ethernet cable
I tried to call them again today
This time they picked up
They have a fix up
Please help me to log on today!

Turned out the problem, was my own download
Explorer beta, on my machine
The tecchies called it!
I uninstalled it
And it's working perfectly!

You are my cable, ethernet cable
And now it's working, and I can play
You are not useless
And I'm not clueless
This has been a very good day!