This is freakin' brilliant—whoops! I started too early. Just keep going? Ok.

This is freakin' brilliant.
The embarrassment I endure
I thought I saw an angel
I was completely sure
She smiled at me on the subway
Turned out she was a man
I didn't know until I tried to sleep with her
After 8 black and tans

But she was beautiful, She was beautiful
She was beautiful, I swear
When I saw her face, it was in a crowded place
And I didn't see the bump right here
I shouldn't've drank so much beer.

Yeah, she had one lazy eye
But I couldn't tell in that light.
You should have seen the look on my face
When we got home that night.
And I said, "What the----oh my! Can we turn off the lights?"
But she just took off her clothes and my lust turned to fright.

But she was beautiful, She was beautiful
She was beautiful, I swear
When I saw her face, it was in a crowded place
And I didn't see the bulge right here.
Why did I drink so much beer?

No no no no no,
No no no no no no,
No no no no no no!

But she was beautiful, I promise she was beautiful
You gotta believe me she was beautiful, I swear.
I bet a flock of angels had smiles on their faces
As they watched me almost hook up with her—him—her—him—oh, gosh.
But it's time to face the truth
I got drunk and made out with a dude.