I eat sushi at Hibachi
You slow-grill my fish, its' unkind but
If I met you in a chopstick fight
I'd eat up all your rice with soy sauce alone
Or duck sauce alone

Hey meatball lo mien is good
You'll make fried rice
Yeah, I'll have sweet 'n' sour pork
Special, which you cook yourself, maniac
Serve up
Serve up

If I wanted shredded beef
I'd yell into your ear
So you would hear
That octopus shouldn't be sent
Man was never meant to eat yucky squid
To eat yucky squid

Hey fried pork lo mien is good
It's not sanitary
Yeah, it's not very healthy
Spicy, as you mark with a red star
On the menu
On the menu

Yeah
You're not perfect
But the chicken's pretty good
...
You speak no English

Hey chicken lo mien is OK
It's real fatty
Yeah, it's like a lard factory
Where's my, fortune cookie you maniac
Fork it over!