It's funny how you find yourself
Looking for a lawyer
A defendant
That all he wants is to not be guilty
Why did I get myself in court?
Causing so much damage
Now I have to act as if
I'm not one to die

I shouldn't have drank all that ale
Which made me kind of sleepy
Which made me drunk, then caused me to run nude
Now everybody else could yell
How I blinded half of the neighborhood
When I was being sued

I swore I knew almost nothing
Till I heard them object
And when they brought
Exhibit A
It was plain sick and wrong
Then finally my lawyer came
Although he was panting
His protests we could on agree
Despite them being long

I hope I don't end up in jail
Where food is worth the puking
Oh man I hope
My lawyer will come through
Cause now everyone can tell
That I confused my insaneness from truth
May this not be subdued?
When I was being sued

I can't believe I was pled innocent
It's like Michael Jackson
Except only one
Trial turned out fine
Cause I hated the view
Hope my lawyer did too
When I was being sued