You've been saying we're the worst band since Spice Girls,
And it's right, we'll never sell to the whole world,
And what sort of bastard called us Hear'Say?
We can't create our own songs or our image,
We all have as much talent as sewage,
But we were chosen in a very biased way.

I know you don't like us even a bit,
And I know this Popstars thing is ****, ooh-ooh,

Chorus

Whatever they do,
They're gonna pick me,
It's not fair to you,
But I know they're gonna pick me,
It's very simple,
'Cause I bribed them first!
(Very simple, 'cause I bribed them)
Whatever it takes,
They're gonna pick me,
The whole thing's poo,
But I know they're gonna pick me,
It's very simple,
'Cause I bribed them first!
(Very simple, 'cause I bribed them)

I didn't want to be in a pop band,
I'd rather be buried in sand,
But I think you can understand the rest,
Nigel Lythgoe is the ugliest bastard,
We all think he should be drowned in cold custard,
But we just want attention from the press!

I know you don't like us even a bit,
And I know this Popstars thing is ****, ooh-ooh,

Chorus

Whatever they do,
They're gonna pick me,
It's not fair to you,
But I know they're gonna pick me,
It's very simple,
'Cause I bribed them first!
(Very simple, 'cause I bribed them)
Whatever it takes,
They're gonna pick me,
The whole thing's poo,
But I know they're gonna pick me,
It's very simple,
'Cause I bribed them first!
(Very simple, 'cause I bribed them)

You know that Suzanne is such a whore,
But it doesn't matter any more, ooh-ooh....
We make more cash than you!

Chorus

Whatever they do,
They're gonna pick me,
It's not fair to you,
But I know they're gonna pick me,
It's very simple,
'Cause I bribed them first!
(Very simple, 'cause I bribed them)
Whatever it takes,
They're gonna pick me,
The whole thing's poo,
But I know they're gonna pick me,
It's very simple,
'Cause I bribed them first!
(Very simple, 'cause I bribed them)