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Song Parodies -> "Country Club Of Tattered Greens"

Original Song Title:

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

Original Performer:

Greenday

Parody Song Title:

"Country Club Of Tattered Greens"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

Start at the driving range
I only dream that I might get a par
Looks I get are strange
When I hook my shot and I hit a car

I step up to the tee
At the country club of tattered greens
Shot goes in the trees
And I can't find my ball, these weeds are tall

Had fifty balls
I lost them all
I lost them all
I lost them...

My driver's gone, stuck in the tree above me
My friends are laughing and now I am seething
Sometimes I wish that I'd stuck to Golden Tee
Can someone find my ball?

Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-u-u-ck,
Du-uck, Du-uck, Fo-re

Held up the group behind
Searching for the balls that I can't find
Had to take a dive
Swimming in the lake, can't find my ball

Why is she uptight?
The beer cart girl and I are gonna fight
Not a pretty sight
She gave me a black eye, and I took a fall

She had the gall
To kick my ball
I lost the brawl
I lost it...

My friends are gone they all say they don't know me
Stuck in the woods, covered with poison ivy
I grab a wedge so I can beat my caddy
I still can't find my ball

Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-u-u-ck,
Du-uck, Go-oose

I lost my ball
I lost it...

I really caused a scene
At the country club of tattered greens
Stuck on hole thirteen
And I don't have no balls cause I lost them...

That gopher took a rock and threw it at me
Between the eyes, a blow that sent me tumbling
Stuck in this ditch I hope someone will find me
But hey, I see my ball!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 43

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   41
 41
 41
 

User Comments

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Ashkicksass - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I am dying! This is just hilarious! I don't know which I laughed harder at - the beer girl or the gopher.
Arwen - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I agree with Ash...this is BRILLIANT, Mr. Reuben! I loved it...and totally laughed out loud at several parts...=)
Spaff.com - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice job, Jeffaroo. I found this OS a tough one to parody, but you definitely scored a 5 with this. (Too bad it's a par three.)
Jeff Reuben - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Ash, Arwen, and Spaff! The OS was harder than I expected, I ended up working on this till midnight last night (even bought the CD). LOL on the par three line.
Oddybobo - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Jeff I love it! Especially the part about your friends leaving you! Keep em coming!
Lee O'Shea - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but very funny. You let the beer cart girl kick your butt? Then you really do have no balls. ;-)
Stuart McArthur - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
ah, and I love a happy ending - can you get Adam Sandler to play you in the video - just for the beer-cart girl scene at least - 555
John Barry - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
15 holes in one. Very good!
Jeff Reuben - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Oddy, Stu, JB, and LeeOShea!
John Jenkins - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I think I've played that course, too. Well done, Jeff. A lot of good lines including the Golden Tee line.
Jeff Reuben - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Stu, he'd be perfect for it, if he has recovered from his bout with Bob Barker. John, thanks!
2nz - February 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Very excellent, Jeff. Don't forget to check your eyes and cross your tees. Fave bit:
She had the gall
To kick my ball
I lost the brawl

And the punchline
Guy - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, but I like golf and golf parodies and this one seems to have some drive.
Kristof Robertson - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) as officially the worst golfer in South London, this parody totally bunkered me. 555
Jeff Reuben - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Guy, Kristof, and 2nz.
Charlie Decker - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I played golf once. Well, I hit like 3 balls at the driving range at Chelsea Peirs, anyway. 555.
Scathe - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) Incredible take on the OS, Jeff. Just marvelous.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very well constructed and rhymed. Not at all sub-par.
Adagio - March 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very funny!! I don't do golf, but this had so much going for it, that it took my mind off that fact. Loved all the side experiences...;) 5's
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I was thinking of that Adam Sandler movie too! A hole in 555.
Spaff.com - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I like it even more now than I did a month ago. Many great touches. My fave line this go-round is "I grab a wedge so I can beat my caddy."
Johnny D - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Try Putt-Putt, my son, 'tis surely more fun.
Rex - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I played an entire course yesterday and only lost one ball, on 18. Boy I love miniature golf!
Arwen - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--still love it, Jeff. It would totally be my theme song at the golf course!
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
sotm - psst Jeff - about the gopher - I'll get the dynamite, you get the plunger
already commented, but sends up the OS perfectly
Nebula - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment
"Start at the driving range I only dream that I might get a par Looks I get are strange When I hook my shot and I hit a car!" Hilarious!
Claude Prez - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Dammit, Spaff singled out my fave line already. I gotta start getting to these things sooner. Excellent.
Tim Mayfield - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) PARticularly PARfect PARdner!
2nz - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
One of the two best blah, blah... still good from what I can see. Better narrative feel than mine.
Des Reuben - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Jeff... You stole my last name you loser
Des Reuben - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Answer me, usurping mongrel
Adagop - July 21, 2006 - Report this comment
ABC What a good parody. It was funny, even though I don't follow golf! 5's
Johnny D - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) What Johnny D said, back at The Nineteenth Hole.
Red Ant - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
First, one slight quibble: I'd like to have seen the rhyming in the first verse the same as TOS. Now then, this was a great effort, too many favorite lines, but the simple "goo-ose" was the the one that made me LOL. Best golf parody I've ever read. 5s
Jeff Reuben - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Red Ant...where did I miss? In the first verse, I had the first and third lines rhyming and the 2nd and 4th. In the OS, it's the same pattern:

I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone
Unless you wanted all four lines to rhyme, or keeping all four ending sounds with the long O? When writing, I took road/goes as different than known/alone. I'm fine with that if that's the case, just genuinely curious.
Red Ant - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Since most of the verses of the song end with assonant rhymes rather than perfect rhymes ("street/dreams/sleeps", "lines/alright/signs"), I assumed that the first verse would be taken as an assonant AAAA rhyming pattern (the long O you mentioned) rather than ABAB. I was looking for all 4 lines to rhyme to each other, not to TOS, though if they do both it's generally a plus in my book.

I can see the logic behind your choice though, and it's not wrong by any means. And it's still an excellent parody. =)
Jeff Reuben - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Red Ant, and thanks for the comment. I didn't take in a negative way at all, more as "constructive criticism" which is very much appreciated.
Rick C - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
ABC3C - Ah, here's the reason I like these rounds! I've never seen this one before and, it's a hoot. Brilliant work, Jeff, fits the OS to a tee, if you'll pardon the expression.
Stuart McArthur - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
ABC3C - yes, this one is a classic, Jeff, and this time I got a big smile out of "She had the gall - To kick my ball" - lol
Matthias - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
I think you lost more than your ball when you wrote this one.... Still a song this good deserves fives without any FOREplay....
Agrimorfee - August 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) You hit an Eagle! How did I miss this one? It's worth noting that yours is one of the few BoBD parodies that attempts to change every line....very good.
Scathe - August 02, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3 C) Very chuckleworthy, Jeff.
Abbott Skelding - August 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Great work! Love the OS and you did a great job telling the story of my golf game haha! 555 more strokes for you!
Matthias - August 09, 2011 - Report this comment
This is a Jeff Reuben classic! I remember reading this one way, way, way back in the day (it was probably one of the first I've ever read by you!). This one still packs a wallop though. Hilarious stuff, still after all this time!
Blaydeman - August 13, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) My score card reads 555!
Rex - August 21, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Wow, this is 6 1/2 years old? It certainly stands the test of time. Great work, everybody already said what I was gonna say. See you on the 19th hole!
bobpiecheese - August 21, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Holy bollocks, 2005? That's old-skool, man, and I mean that in a good way. This one definitely stands the test of time, a great parody full of character. 555 spare balls!
Below Average Dave - August 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Jeff, this one is a classic--you know that, what can I possibly say?

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