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Song Parodies -> "Planet Of Bacteria"

Original Song Title:

"Jesus of Suburbia"

Original Performer:

Green Day

Parody Song Title:

"Planet Of Bacteria"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

(Part One: The Facts)

Heard scientists all shout, “Hurrah”
A planet with bacteria
They dropped their jaws and they were in awe
There was only just one flaw… They never found an alien
There’s no green beasties with fins and shells
Still they think its swell
Because life forms need to start somewhere

Cause this moon-rock gave the key
And from Mars they’ve got debris
But some still disagree
With life on Mercury

Bill Nye must have flipped his lid
In space there might be giant squids!
Under those test tubes (Like a rubix cube)
They’re solving the question today!
Those astronauts to space are sent
To find more than a small percent of cells (In vain)
From spacely terrains getting life that they can maintain

Still on Saturn there’s no fleas
And Neptune still has no bees
But science is not aggrieved
Because they found germs, it seems

(Part Two: Scary With Big Heads)

We thought there was only Earth
And in space there’s squat
But if Pluto’s no planet, then I guess… Why not?
See UFOs in the sky!
Guess where my future home is…
Yup, It’s on Mars!
And I can live out there
Among the stars!
But that might take some time

Search for aliens!
With robots that kinda look like Wall-E
Satellites can help us there
Scanning the whole land
In valleys and under boulders to see
If we find something with hair

I wrote a peace treaty
Just in case they brawl
I just hope Martians can read what I scrawled
Or we’ll no longer to exist
Because I’ve seen the films
That just made me squirm like
That one, “Mars Attacks”
And “The War Of The Worlds”
And in my pants I have pissed

Scary with big heads
And laser guns that can blast off my hiney
As you can tell I’m really scared
It might be a scam
Amebas are tiny creatures, we’re safe
But there might be worse out there!

(Part Three: I Don’t Care)

I don’t care if there’s things
I don’t care if there’s things
I don’t care if there’s things there!

Give no crap if there’s crap
Give no crap if there’s crap
Give no crap if there’s crap there?!

Are you scared of those germs?
Are you scared of those germs?
Are you scared of those germs there?

I don’t care if there’s life
I don’t care if there’s life
I don’t care if there’s life there!

I don’t care!!!

Bacteria doesn’t mean sh*t
Cause there’s only just a little bit
Could come from rockets that we made
Don’t you feel so betrayed?
Until I see a Martian breathe
You know that I will not believe
It’s folk stories and fiction from
The planet with bacteria
We are so naïve
Not thinking quite clearly
So I’m getting peeved
Something’s up their sleeve
Just send me there!
Be prepared!
I’m not scared!
You’ll despair!
Dead, I swear!

(Part Four: Some Crazy Redneck)

Hey Channel Five News! This here’s Bubba D
I swear a space critter went and abducted me
You see this dent here on my pick-up truck?
That’s when that alien gone and went and picked me up
And they probed me, I was gull-dern annoyed
And then I farted and their equipment was destroyed
Memory ain’t perfect, but this is the truth
Though I was kinda drunk, you can take it from my tooth

(Part Five: Tales Of A Life That Is Unknown)

To hide away from Earth
Those humans are just jerks
They come we hide for days
We’re there but they won’t see
Because we have large minds
We can go clear if we just try
Still they try to persist
To find if we exist

We’ll come
Some distant day
A gang of dumb tourists
And we won’t look refined
It’s hard to do that with twelve eyes
And then we will dine
On you Earthlings until we’re fine
Till then we’ll hide!

To us it is fair game
The humans shall demise
And there ain’t nowhere you can go
Space shuttles crammed and strained
Might stop your last goodbyes
Tales of a life that is unknown

We’re sleeping…
We’re sleeping…
We’re sleeping…
Till you pick a bone!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
As a space geek who's followed the Mars missions a little too closely, I got a real kick out of this.
Glen S - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
I DKTOS because I'm at work, but this was a right fun read. At least they'll just eat us. I wasn't looking forward to my anal probe. I shall return.
Glen S - December 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Back, enjoyed the 2nd and 3rd parts especially. Also the sub: "With robots that kinda look like Wall-E". Great soundalikes throughout.
Silver Power - August 23, 2009 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I loved this parody. Great title sub, too.
DJ Blaze - September 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Long OS, and hilarious, descriptive content: just how I like a contest entry! And I also loved the Wall-E line. 555
Timmy1000 - September 08, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC P) Fun read and covers the various parts of the song with different stories.
Agrimorfee - September 11, 2009 - Report this comment
A big epic for this century's Boho Rhap...very good consistency with the storyline, which is more than I can say for Green Day...thought about doing the whole album, matty?
Guy - September 13, 2009 - Report this comment

Astronomical without being cosmetic. You present some interesting ideas here Matt. Very long parody and no easy feat to pull off - you've held it together well.
Stuart McArthur - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) yeah Aliens! - and what's so special about Roswell anyway. Better pickings on Waikiki Beach, I would have thought. Also, if they ever did find life on another planet, would Brad and Angelina try to adopt it? hmmm, weighty issues - massive effort as usual Matty - 555
Mark Scotti - September 15, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Wonderful words from Hanger 555!
Abbott Skelding - September 15, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC: Not bad, it didn't really strike me as "ha-ha" funny, but it was very favorite part was the redneck section, very nice!!
bobpiecheese - September 16, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) A few pacing stumbles, but that might just be me. Interesting topic. Some of the lines confused me, but I'm me so that doesn't count. I also don't care about aliens from outer space, unless they're the giant transforming robot kind ;) 555!
Leo Keough - September 16, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(P) Fun concept - the search for alien life from the perspective of an earthling who's seen so much sci-fi stuff that the actual discovery is a big let-down...555!!!
Melanie Lee - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Clever idea, relevant topic, good fun at first, but then it got wearisome. Tough OS, IMHO. 5-4-5.
Below Average Dave - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Overall a very well written parody to a difficult OS (based purely on it's length) I do have to somewhat agree with Melanie, it kinda drags a bit there in the middle and end, but that is outweighed by the interest in the topic and uniqueness of the parody. Pacing wasn't quite perfect, but that could also be because you changed up some of the rhymes in speedy parts which can throw me off to . . .anyway, great job Matty
Red Ant - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Great title sub and nice job tying all five parts of the OS together in the parody. Fun but yeah, it dragged a bit, and a few lines stuck out with odd grammar ("The humans shall demise"?). 545

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