Found an old house while walking down the street.
Went in the basement; saw him;
Got the creeps.
I made a point to ignore all his puns and laughs.
Turns out that being dead has left him rather crass.
He then opened the book and told another tale.
Now I wonder why the Keeper's so stale.

Zombies are eating flesh off Charlie's face.
To make him pay for killing his wife Grace.
Donna just blew her husband's head off with a gun.
Then a killer Santa Clause tortured her for fun.
All these "Just Desserts" endings are all sounding the same.
But they never get old and aren't too lame.

Dismember,
by blender.
That's how it goes in every show.
Remember,
Cadavers;
Hop up and then make the blood flow.
The insects,
are crawling in my skin;
and into my head.
(Oh what a mess.)
The regrets,
of killing that guy's wife.
So then I find that he's a Vamp.
Oh!
No!
Oh!
No!

Oh!
No!
Oh!
No!
No!

And in the dark tonight,
I think I'll turn on all the lights.
The Tales have warped my mind.
Why must the Keeper be unkind?