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Song Parodies -> "Nickelodeon Idiot 13: Viacom"

Original Song Title:

"Whatsername"

Original Performer:

Green Day

Parody Song Title:

"Nickelodeon Idiot 13: Viacom"

Parody Written by:

Chris Bodily TM

The Lyrics

This is the final installment of Nickelodeon Idiot. And, of course, the teaser trailer I wrote was a joke. None of that is gonna happen in this big finale. When we last left Snicky, the Nick Rewind TV channel had been discontinued by Viacom, much to everybody's chagrin. Can Snicky and his friends save a generation from a lack of Classic Nick?
[Snicky logs on to his computer and connects to the Internet. The homepage is www.stsnickyhouse.com, which was established by Mike with the help of Christine McGlade, Dan Schneider, Kenan Thompson, Kel Mitchell, Finesse Mitchell, Katrina Johnson, and other important names in Nickelodeon, and President Hillary Clinton... but back to our story.]

[Snicky Googles "nick rewind cancelled" and finds innumerable hits ranging from Nick.com, CNN.com, Amiright.com, nickrewind.com, classicnick.com, YCDTOTV.com (You Can't Do That on Television), TV.com, Internet Movie Database, MTV.com, VH1.com, and various Nickelodeon fansites and official sites too numerous to name. He clicks on Nick.com as the official source.]

[The statement reads:

Nick Rewind Cancelled!
April 8, 2010

If you're gonna wake up tomorrow, and you want to turn on the television, don't turn it to the Nick Rewind channel to watch your all-time favorite episode of Out of Control or Cousin Skeeter, 'cause it won't be there! Our daddy, Viacom, is forcing us to take ALL CLASSIC NICK SHOWS off the air FOREVER -- just like your parents make you do chores that you beg your little sister to do. It's not our fault, kids, so please don't blame us like you blame your farts on the dog.

Christine "Moose" McGlade
President of Nickelodeon]

**Snicky**
"Moose is Nick's President?... The Nick Rewind is cancelled!!??!!...."

[Dead silence for exactly one minute.]

**Snicky**
This can't be... It's a dream, it's all a dark, terrible, horrible dream! Somebody pinch me!!! This is f**king bull****!!"

**Mike**
"Do they even realize how much [expletive] money they could make with the Rewind?"

**Snicky**
"Yeah... I know... It's a tragedy...."

[Long pause. Everybody sits in silence to mourn the loss of Nick Rewind, and not without some tears.]

**Snicky**
"I'm writing a letter...."

[Snicky opens up his WordPad program and begins contructing his letter.]

**Snicky**
[Typing] "April.... Nine... Teeeenth.... Twwwoo... Thouuussssand... Teeeennn." [To Mike] "Is Nickelodeon's address the same?"

**Mike**
"Yes, y-yes it is."

[Snicky writes down the address that he still remembers by heart.]

**Snicky**
[Typing] "Dear Nickelodeon, Christine McGlade, Viacom, et al:..." [Aside] "What should I write next? I wanna say we're p*ssed off about the cancellaton, but I can't really use those exact words.... can I? Hell, why not!"

[Snicky writes: We, the undersigned, are royally p*ssed off that you could stoop this low. How dare you cancel the Nick Rewind. Future generations do not need to be deprived of Nickelodeon's glory days. Looks like it's gonna be another sh**ty decade for Nickelodeon -- and pop culture for that matter.]

**Mike**
"I love it already, and that's just the first paragraph."

**Tourist**
"Tell 'em we want our shows back!"

[Snicky types: You cannot take our shows away! NEVER!! One or two generations grew up on these shows when they were kids, and now they desperately need them back as soon as possible.]

**Mike**
"But why not just write an email to Nickelodeon? They'll get it a lot faster."

**Snicky**
[Long pause] "Because... [Pause] I have a plan..." [Typing and speaking at the same time] "By the time... yooouuu... reeead... this...."

[One month has passed since the letter was mailed. The date is May 10, 2010 -- Kenan Thompson's 32nd birthday. Nickelodeon's office at 1515 Broadway receives the letter from Snicky and company.]

**Man**
"Ms. McGlade, you have a letter."

**Christine "Moose" McGlade**
[Happy] "Who is it from?"

**Man**
"St. Snicky--"

[The mood turns from cheerful to gloomy.]

**McGlade**
[Rambling unintelligibly to herself] "I knew it, I knew it! [Expletive] I knew it... I just knew I'd get some letters.... [unintelligible]"

**Man**
"What's wrong?"

**McGlade**
"What's wrong!!??! What's [expletive] wrong??!! Those b*st*rds at Viacom forced me to f**king cancel the Nick Rewind! And now St. Snicky has written me an angry, p*ssed-off letter!! That's what's f**king wrong, Adam. Just throw it away, just Throw. It. Away. Throw it away now!! I'm not reading it, you can't make me!"

**Adam Reid**
"What's the worst that could happen?"

**McGlade**
"This is St. Snicky we're talking about! The problem is... I don't know--"

[McGlade gets slimed because there is a slime tank overhead at her desk.]

**McGlade**
"No pun intended, but can you please get me some water?"

[Adam squirts water into McGlade's mouth.]

**McGlade**
[Spits the water out] "This is serious, Adam! There could be a whole Army of Old School Nick Fans somewhere for all I know!"

**Adam**
"Well, let's just read the letter and find out."

[Adam opens up the letter and reads it aloud. A half-hour passes.]

**McGlade**
"That's it? I thought he was gonna write a constitution or something... or condemn us to hell."

**Adam**
"Wait, there's more... They look like... song lyrics..."

[The song begins. We see an entire Army of Old School Nick Fans sorrounding the Nickelodeon/Viacom office.]

**Snicky**
[Disembodied voice singing]
How I loved Nick Rewind with Pete & Pete
I pinched myself, I thought it was a dream,
It's turned into a nightmare, now I can't wake up
Nick went away, came back, and now it's all f**ked up
And since 2001, Nick has never been the same,
How you people put Viacom to shame

Took off "All That" and got the cast replaced
And on Nick Jr., you got rid of Face,
No more Muppet Babies, so shove it up your [expletive]
Nick went away and then you introduced Nick Gas
Death of our childhood is one big atomic bomb
I blame you, stupid (Bleeps!) at Viacom

[The song becomes quiet and then crescendoes into a heavy rock epic. There are bon fires everywhere on the street. There is graffiti all around the Nickelodeon/Viacom office building. Most of it is lyrics from the songs, either complete lyrics or bits and pieces. Other graffiti includes:

I Don't Know!
A scribbly sketch of Kevin the Stage Manager
A scribbly All That logo
Space Cases
Kablam!
We miss you, Gromble
Rugrats Forever
Real Monsters Forever
Gullah Gullah Island]

(Guitar solo)

[Snicky starts writing "VIACOM" in giant letters, taking his time.]

Remember
The Classics
How I miss The Amanda Show!
Eureeka
Alegra
How I miss the Nick Cannon Show!
The Rugrats
And Moose, yes, 'Manda Bynes
Kenan & Kel
Welcome Freshmen
The Rugrats
As Rugrats, let's Rewind
And Double Dare
Awww-awww here it goes!
(Goes... goes... goes... goes...)

(Goes... goes... goes... goes... goes...)

[The giant TV screen on top of the building behind Snicky is on the Nick Rewind channel, which then switches from the "Viacom has discontinued..." title card to the opening sequence from "You Can't Do That on Television."]

You fear the dark tonight?
We won't give up without a fight
I'll never turn back time!
I wish I could just one more time!

[Snicky has run out of spray paint, but his graffiti reads, "VIACON." Snicky is frustrated that he has run out of spray paint. Mike taps Snicky on the shoulder and give him his can of spray paint, which has just enough paint to finish the job. Snicky proceeds to finish the "M" in "VIACOM." He wipes the sweat off of his forehead, and Mike pats Snicky on the back and the two hug over their victory.]

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 0
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 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - May 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Beautiful. Give that man an Oscar, or an Emmy, or a Grammy, or something. Congratulations! 555
Stephen Harrington - May 15, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS and I'm not too familiar with some of the shows, but you put alot of work into this, for which I'm impressed with. 555.
Cat - May 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Standing ovation! Man, Chris, you have more dedication in your little finger than I have in my whole body. Excellent work all the way through.
Larry Hensley - May 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Very well done
Agrimorfee - June 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above
Cat - June 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, and on listening to the OS, you nailed that pacing like a hammer. Catchy OS too, I admit I'm not usually one for Green Day but I love that rhythm guitar, reminds me of The Cars...

BUT I DIGRESS. A concept album is the monster that only the bravest of parodists can tackle, and you pulled it off marvelously, and with original dialogue to boot. Bravo!
Red Ant - June 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Congrats on the completion of your Green Day/Nickelodeon album, Chris. When is the play due on Broadway? ;-) Seriously, good work here, though Snicky should have left it as "Viacon", or made it "Viacommunism" with that second can of paint. McGlade getting slimed was sweet.
Max Power - June 12, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Alright
Rick C - June 14, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Congrats on the completion of a monumental task, Chris! 555
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - June 17, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - I'm still too old too fully appreciate this series, but I do know a serious effort when I see it. :-)
Matthias - June 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Bravo, encore, what's next????
bobpiecheese - June 20, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yeah, what's next for ya Chris? I'm tempted to do the same kinda thing with a different album, but I'm scared to. Especially with the album I chose in the shower: "Curtain Call" by Eminem...maybe later.
Rex - June 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) An amazing ending to an amazing series. Well done indeed!
Stuart McArthur - June 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) whilst I'm awed by the commitment and effort you've put into this whole project Chris, I just wish I could get in on the joke - I know nothing about any of these shows, characters, or Nickleodeon - too old and too Aussie, I suspect - but on all the applause it's had, I have to give you 555 on merit!!
andreas georgiou - June 24, 2006 - Report this comment
i love the show called zoey 101 i have whached every show on nick so could you get jamie spears to send and autograph just send it to andreas georgiou 36 farraxton square camp hill northampton nn4 9rq thank you
Confission - June 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) nice job
wannabemustangjockey - June 26, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - I remember most of the references but never watched most of the shows (my best friend growing up was obsessed with Nickelodeon). I read a bunch of it and was like, "Where's the song?" and then saw it halfway down the page. Your "Nickelodeon Idiot" series is like my car parodies. Dedication to one central topic. Good job.
Arwen - June 27, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...congratulations on finishing such an abitious project, Chris...this was a joy to read!
Johnny D - June 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Scary in a good awe-inspiringly twisted kind of way... ;-)
Phil Alexander - June 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(Still) knowing nothing about Nickelodeon, and only a passing acquaintance with the OS, I did find this rather difficult to follow. Congratulations on finishing a huge tranche of work on something in which I have to admit that I have no real interest whatsoever, Chris. If you see what I mean.
Scotty Dangerously - July 18, 2011 - Report this comment
This is Scotty D, formerly 'raddog20002002, and I have just reviewed your Nickelodeon album again. It is awesome. For the past few years, I've been writing albums based on Harry Potter, Freddy Krueger, and Willy Wonka. My ideas of completing the Harry Potter saga have been suffering a hiatus, and my Star Trek album is still unfinished. Anyways, wish me the best on my song parody work while you keep up with yours.

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