I watch a boring show
The only where I am ever shown
I admit it blows
But it's good money and I'm Jacque Cousteau

I yap about fishies
In the Boatingyard on Discovery
Where my crewmates sleep
So I'm the brainy one, and I'm Jacque Cousteau

I'm Jacque Cousteau
I'm Jacque Cousteau

I'm Jacque Cousteau
A Jacque-Off

The seagulls only ones that flock around me
This whale's part the only thing that's meaning
Sometimes I wish that Hollywood will star me
Till then I'm Jacque Cousteau

Blah, Blah
Blah, Blah
Blah, Blah
Blaaah, Blah
Blah, Blah
Blah, Blah
Blah, Blah

I'm talking what you dine
All these tides I'm about to lose my mind
Or the borderline
I'm into grudge but you will never know

Read No Fishing signs
I Fu*ked up, at least I'm not on live
Check you're vital signs
Hope you're still alive, watch Jacque Cousteau

I'm Jacque Cousteau
I'm Jacque Cousteau

I'm Jacque Cousteau
Found Nemo

This flounder's the only one who's got the groupies
Show's rating charts sure could use a rising
Sometimes I wish Bill Murry'll do a satire of me
Till then I'm Jacque Cousteau

Blah, Blah
Blah, Blah
Blah, Blah
Blaaah, Blah
Blah, Blah
Blah, Blah

I'm Jacque Cousteau
A Jacque-Off

I talk and then repeat
In the Boatingyard on Discovery
Where we're out so deep
But I'm the shallow one and I Jacque-Off

The camera's the only one that stands beside me
Some loser nerd's the only one that's fan mailing
Sometimes I wish Animal Planet will co-star me
Till then I'm Jacque Cousteau

(Hardcore finally Jacque pulls out an electric guitar and smashes into the boats motor as the music stops)

"And this has been the Under The Parody World Of Jacque Cousteau"