You tell me to eat healthy
And steal my cup of coffee
I'm on a diet from today

Chocolates kept from my mouth
Want to protest and shout
Watch you take my cake away

I'm feeling empty cheeks
As I nibble leeks
A celery stick or seven

The fridge has been restocked and
When in it, I place my hand
All I can find is big and green

It'll be hard to stay friends now
As you restrict eating cow
"Some seafood will do me some good"
But I hate that kind of food

You've removed all my cigarettes
I'm praying for a nicotine fix
My alcohol intake's to be
Lowered, so no more drinks

Digging out my unused gym
Membership and an old blue tracksuit
I'll give my soul to anyone
Who gets rid of this fruit

It'll be hard to stay friends now
My withdrawal slows me down
I try writing songs about you
But my brain is craving cow

You left a small white mint
And I leap towards it
Only to find no sugar

My friends all say their happy
Apparently I'm skinny
But I have to ask "at what cost?"

It'll be hard to stay friends now
As you restrict eating cow
I want to know why you've done this
You say because I was obese

You stole my cup of coffee
Because I was a fatty