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Song Parodies -> "Seventh Helping Pig"

Original Song Title:

"Seven Deadly Sins"

Original Performer:

Flogging Molly

Parody Song Title:

"Seventh Helping Pig"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Happy Thanksgiving!
Whale-like weight when I’m done in shame
Thanksgiving Day it’s food I crave
All year has been a diet so I can scarf stuffing
Your festive buffet better be big
My stomach’s full but I’ll still eat
A yearly luncheon riot
For this seventh helping pig!

Yeah, I’ll open wide for some pumpkin pie
A few slices with whipped topping
Tummy is quite over-stuffed
But that won’t get me stopping
So pass the mashed potatoes
And that saucer of gravy
Cause spoonfuls I’ll be heaping
Next to the pieces of turkey!

Stomach’s jammed with rolls and jam
But there’s always room for dessert
My relatives are getting pissed
By my lack of table manners
Although my mouth is slobbering
And speak with my mouth full
I should get a freaking ribbon for polishing three bowls!

Poultry’s afraid cause it’s Turkey Day
And I’ll send them to their birdie graves!
Thankful for what’s provided except for the burnt lima beans
Won’t be called names like “stick” or “twig”
Pants button popped but still I eat
Canned cranberries hit my palate
I’m a seventh helping pig!
Tomorrow I’ll do pilates
Now a seventh helping pig!

Family is all good and fine
But to me it doesn’t matter
As long as there is turkey sliced
We’re far from a disaster
Hunger fills my deep black hole
Which you can call my gut
You brought hotdogs? You’re stupid!
What’s next some Pizza Hut?

Chewing a leg while I’m gravy stained
While my grandmother scolds “Behave!”
My mom and dad are frightened as I pile on more peas
This boxed wine case is what I’ll swig
But Uncle Mike’s more drunk than me
Since it’s running low I’ll lament
I’m a seventh helping pig
Done with everything’s my torment
I’m a seventh helping pig

Because I swallowed that ham whole
We’re down to just the bones!
Need some fitness help
To slim down my hips
My bathroom scale will bust I’m sure!

Baking pans have dried nothing left behind
Or I would still be feeding
Won’t touch the trout or brussle sprouts
They’re far from being greasy
My girlfriend’s so embarrassed
By the way I made a scene
I’m covered with the remnants
Of what was Thanksgiving

Drink no milkshakes in truck stop cafes
And to McDonald’s I’m no slave
But one day I am a monster and that day is Thanksgiving
I’m a health nut who just eats figs
Won’t drink Red Bull, I’ll just sip tea
The last Thursday of November
I’m a seventh helping pig!

Sweet potatoes straight from the pan
Cause “Frankly I don’t give a yam!”
Happy those pilgrims feasted back in 1863
They donned their goofy powdered wigs
And ate their fill with Cherokees
Don’t come near me with that salmon
I’m a seventh helping pig!
I will gorge myself with turkey
I’m a seventh helping pig!
With tryptophan I’m napping
I’m a seventh helping pig!!!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Tough song, and you handled it well. This feasty parody has caused my belly two swell, and your votes swelled to fives... I posted my "Thanksgiving" tribute a couple of days ago:
Christie Marie M - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice to whip up something for Thanksgiving there, Matt!! Be sure to save some room for dessert! I'm so happy to be reading all those Thanksgiving parodies for today! "Stuffing" you with 5's!
Matthias - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Mark! I saw yours... Don't know if I commented but it was really funny! And like I said in my parody Christie: "But there’s always room for dessert"
NorCalDIVA - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Squire Matthias, well, this does beat a ~Seventh Whelping~ ! !
DJ Blaze - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Why is it that everyone's doing a Thanksgiving parody but me? I did Christmas early, though. Great job, and I love Flogging Molly. 555
Christie Marie M - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh, that's right, Matt! I cracked up so hard on most parts of your parody that I overlooked your "dessert" line in your parody. Nice to read it again, though! I especially like blackjack's "Oh, Turkey" parody and I did one myself entitled "Thanksgiving that I posted for today! Have a Happy Thanksgiving to all those people from AmIRight!!!
Christie Marie M - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Correction: It's titled "Thanksgiving".
Agrimorfee - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
LOLWTIME (laughing out loud with tears in my eyes). I'm left breathless. This was a killer song to do, (your affection for the band clearly shows), but more than that you made every line count, you did more than just make another "I'm a fat pig who eats too much" parody, and made every chorus different ("pilates" is actually pronounced "peh-LAH-tees" but in the long run, it adds to the fun). You won this round, hands down.
Rex - December 05, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Great work, and feel free to stop by and visit, except on Thanksgiving.
bobpiecheese - December 06, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) So this is what this mysterious "Thanksgiving" is all about...people stuffing themselves with all manner of tasty-sounding delicacies without giving a damn. And something about giving thanks. Whatever, crazy Americans and their holidays Aussies don't have...wait, was that out loud? 555!
Silver Power - December 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job on this one, and kudos for being able to do this tough OS. I like Flogging Molly, and this is just gravy. ;-] 5s!
Mark Scotti - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - never get 'full" reading this! Wonderful job, Matthias.
Below Average Dave - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I should not have read this on an empty stomach . . . know I'm friggin hungry as all hell.
Peter Andersson - December 21, 2009 - Report this comment
I do get the thanksgiving spirit thing but I haven't had enough spirit to follow the pace I'm afraid.
Max Power - December 24, 2009 - Report this comment
bobpiecheese - December 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.
Phil Alexander - December 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Workmanlike, but didn't really raise a smile let alone a laugh, I'm afraid.
Jack Wilson - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment

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