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Song Parodies -> "Slaughterized"

Original Song Title:

"Paralyzer"

Original Performer:

Finger Eleven

Parody Song Title:

"Slaughterized"

Parody Written by:

BulldozerBegins

The Lyrics

"Slaughterized" is a song off of the the Every Ape and His Brother album "Elefante Elegante Interesante Importante".

The song describes "every man's worst nightmare," that the girl in his past who was just using him will one day decide that if he is not an asset to her, then he is a liability. At this point, as the man fears, she will then decide that he needs to be savagely murdered. Therefore, he'd better watch his back, lest this girl he fears actually carries out the evil plans he imagines her having in store for him.

This song was inspired by a hairstylist whose utilitarian personality made her a near-perfect personification of the kind of woman that the song imagines would be capable of the horrendous acts described.
1.

I lie here so miserably;
To my old femur./
No longer attached to me!/

My ex-gal is just no good;/
She betrayed me!/

And now I'm all bloodied up;/
How rude!/

Her revenge has got to be;/
Such insanity!/

Just 'cause I couldn't help her!/

Her science grade;/
Failed in pace!/

So she takes it;/
Out on my bloodied face!/

(First Chorus)

She's left me slaughterized;/
With one machete swipe or two!/

And now I just can't move;/
My tibia's missing!/

My body matches;/
What her evil heart can do!/

And now she aims her shank;/
So she can run me through!/

2.

I cough blood for one minute;/
And then notice:/
I'm fading off quickly!/

I'd fare better in the hood!/

Cause she broke my heart;/
And then punctured my left lung!/

My remains found hopefully;/
Open-shut the case!/

That would be great for me!/

I'm still here in agony!/
A cold, dark place!/

I think it's her freezer space!/

(Second Chorus)

She left me slaughterized;/
With one machete swipe or two!/

And now I just can't move;/
Because I'm freezer burned!/

My body matches;/
What her evil heart can do!/

She aimed her makeshift shank;/
And then she ran me through!/

(Instrumental Break)

(Repeat Second Chorus) x 2

[ (Instrumental Break)
She aimed her makeshift shank;/
And then she ran me through!/ ] x 2
For more information, see "Slaughterized" at DozerfleetWiki.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 1

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