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Song Parodies -> "Flush"

Original Song Title:

"Mosh"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Flush"

The Lyrics

Ever had a guest use your toilet and not flush? The kind that mutates into an immoveable mass of foul, odourous muck? No? Well, in the words of Mr Bean: "Brace yourself."
Why's sludge all seeping on my rugs?
It is a tidal wave of your ejecta.
"Faecal it's from your butt! Flush that crap!"
Restroom isn't public so wash your hands.
Yuck fragrance. Thunder box.
Urine drizzling and cistern full of substances foul.
"Flush, will you now!"

Polluting my loo with turds. Each the size of a lime.
Excrete a bunch of stool forever piling with grime.
It's a frightening find. The stench bites and it chines.
Expected bright white shine not this mess all congealed with slime!
To flush, pull on the twine. Why don't you jerk it, you spaz?
Cuz hey, I spy all your bacon and eggs from breakfast you had.
Whiffs of gross methane gas. I'll need my gloves for this task.
Oh bother, here I go up to my coverless cask.
You consumed a cow, it's that abnormally large mass.
Man, it reeks so horrifically. Sulfur gases.
A jungle of growth in my bathroom here attacks!
Gungy, it pours to the floors it oozes. Vac pack.
Got twenty two tentacles, grew some tails and a black hat.
All from your rear, hideous manure odour, that's wack.
Must have split your ass-crack, what a crass act.
Grab a fan, man. Where's my gas mask at?

Awful pong. Awful reek. Crap is leaking upon us.
A rising tide floods enough muck to sprout reeds.
What'd you eat? Help me now. Get the soap, extra strength,
Stomach squeeze... Man, I can't bare this long.
All this waste and this muck. It's a mire, it's a bog.
Now I'm fighting for air, I'm running from the sight.
Clean the sludge, need a pump, for this much gooey gunk.
Wish you'd flush down your lunch after diarrhoea calls.
Gloves on!

Walls are dripping with slop. Up the sides it all dribbles.
Scrub forever, get this scum off here for shizzle.
Your crap has gradually filled up, a flush you did lack.
Now there's a sea of faeces, a heap of gunk like a Big Mac.
It's spattered all over the bath lattice, sink lathered with garbage.
The smell is rank like a maimed corpse, it's badder than cabbage.
Spit and sheen, get it clean, man. A splattered vendetta.
I'll faint from the slop, that great mass, the pong gets rancider.
It's hell, can't cope with this air. Your callous crap will not go.
Evil as the devil, appraisal is: horrifying foe.
Swamp. Mush. Muck. Smoosh. Just flush next time you're making a poop dome.
Gloves on us!

Awful pong. Awful reek. Crap is leaking upon us.
A rising tide floods enough muck to sprout reeds.
What'd you eat? Help me now. Get the soap, extra strength,
Stomach squeeze... Man, I can't bare this long.
All this waste and this muck. It's a mire, it's a bog.
Now I'm fighting for air, I'm running from the sight.
Clean the sludge, need a pump, for this much gooey gunk.
Wish you'd flush down your lunch after diarrhoea calls.
Gloves on!

This tragedy's awful, it's painful to watch it.
Slush pit inside my Water Closet.
Someone's trying to smell out the house, flavour is obnoxious.
Hate these unstomachable curry nachos!
I cower because it's so sour.
This is damn rotten, look at it all slopping!
How could you expel something like this with a rump that aint split now?
It's redefining 'foul'.
Let me get some boys... and some men... from Detroit.
Then we'll empty out this pile with our pumps and mining toys.
Buy some gelignite and wire it to help our plight with sticks.
Clean with our mops get all sloppy in this vile ditch.
Maybe be can flush the ordure to cesspits.
It's quite evident men will all die in the process.
Crap stream is a lake, a dirty river.
Quivering like a cold sore, breathing, a pulse thudding away.
So much sludge in coils, this slop is gross splatter to wipe out like French royals.
No more biological waste here. It's sick as Japs drinking their whale oil.
If you don't flush your dunny that crap will rise up like Nero.
Look at the size of the flies that start colonising the pipes.
Flush now and wipe up this place with a damn mace.
Flush down this pile, or die with stifled fright.
You know why, flush-wise, I am uptight.

Awful pong. Awful reek. Crap is leaking upon us.
A rising tide floods enough muck to sprout reeds.
What'd you eat? Help me now. Get the soap, extra strength,
Stomach squeeze... Man, I can't bare this long.
All this waste and this muck. It's a mire, it's a bog.
Now I'm fighting for air, I'm running from the sight.
Clean the sludge, need a pump, for this much gooey gunk.
Wish you'd flush down your lunch after diarrhoea calls.
Gloves on!

And so if I tell thee to flush once you've cleansed your bum,
Then please don't just pay no attention or you'll make us gag and suffer.
As you sit astride that cistern seat, your butt rumbling and stuff running.
You discard your crapping of ass ejection.
That we all smell. Sour fragrance, fervent flavour.
Please flush down the sewer all your fresh emanation which reeks. Gassed the bird!
Flush the evidence. Flush the remnants.
And please wipe rear ends...
"Just Loo It. Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh!"

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 3
 2
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 3
 
 5   6
 7
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stuart McArthur - November 24, 2004 - Report this comment
I think schoolies week has been messing with you Luke - gloves on or off - any eminem songs still uncovered?? - 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 24, 2004 - Report this comment
My mum dragged me down to Melbourne last week (hence my 27-board catch-up in TOTTM) to protect my underage ass from the antics of hormone-addled teens at the Gold Coast. There's heaps of Eminem songs still uncovered, I aspire to parodying the entire Eminem Show as it's the one I've done the most of so far, but there atleast 20 other songs off Slim Shady LP and Marshall Mathers LP to keep me plaguing this site for another few years. ;)
Stuart McArthur - November 24, 2004 - Report this comment
not to mention the soundtrack from 8 Mile - I just want one, Luke, "Lose Yourself" - do that one (my favourte song of the last 5 years) and it's a guaranteed 555 - (where were you in Melbourne? - I didn't see you)
EmiLoca - November 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Stewie - See "Luke Yourself", it's a laugh and a half. Speaking of which, what is the meaning of 'pong' in the context of 'awful pong'? And isn't it spelled 'peounge' down there? Anyway, couldn't vote, but a hilarious read, Keralphing. You get three imaginary fives and an imaginary comment following this one.
Stuart McArthur - November 25, 2004 - Report this comment
shall do, Emmy - suspected he might have already done one - my team of researchers are gonna get their asses kicked
Stuart McArthur - November 25, 2004 - Report this comment
or someone's gonna get HER ass kicked
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 25, 2004 - Report this comment
AARGH! Don't read Luke Yourself, it was my first song parody and thus just an attempt to rhyme as many syllables per line as possible regardless of a thing called 'sense'...gee, times have really changed, eh? I plan to do 'Who's a MILF?' soon ie. once I've secured a job.
Mr. Potty Mouth - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
IDKTOS, so I'm not going to even vote on this. I'm sure the pacing is fine, but I'm just gonna be a good boy and leave this alone.

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