I recall the time I pulled my car up at his windmill
And before long I was knocking at his door
Now I have told him about this weird murder mystery
And he's picking up his coat from off the floor

Jonathan Creek's been branded as a geek
Not a mystery has gone unsolved
Murders that baffle everyone's brain
I admit he's kinda clever
'Coz he found out that a letter
Was the key behind the death of Elliot Strange
Oh no...!

He is a creative consultant; The brains behind the tricks
Of Magician Adam Klauss
In his spare time he finds the story
Of how a millionaire artist, was killed inside his house

Jonathan Creek's been labelled as a freak
Not a mystery has gone unsolved
One woman got strangled in a gym
I know that I'm pretty shellshocked
But that stupid dumb chequered box
Made me want to stick my head inside a drain
Oh no...

Jonathan Creek solves murders every week
Not a mystery has gone unsolved
Gosh, The Scented Room had a nice smell
You better not let him catch you
Eating a twelve inch porcelain statue
That is really just a candy covered shell

Oh Noooo!!!