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Song Parodies -> "Tears of the Santa Claus"

Original Song Title:

"Scars of the Crucifix"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Tears of the Santa Claus"

Parody Written by:

Dylan Baranski

The Lyrics

And here's another one for those on the naughty list! Enjoy the parody! DISCLAIMER: This is only a parody. No disrespect is meant towards Santa Claus. DKTOS?
Corpulent body,
Tears on his cheeks,
Crashing to burn on the Eve of Christmas.
Bleeding in snow,
Cursing Rudolph.

Commercialized creation, reindeer meet their termination.
They die in snow unmelted, their dice cast like iron smelted.
Your treasonous consumption justifies your Chief’s ascension.
Promulgate the melancholy children’s faith in their blind folly.

Lies that you have told to young and old about St. Nicholas,
They have you tied, and leave you cold, and drag you down to the hellfires.
Blind by Fridays black, the coal, it scolds, a bloody omen of naughty.
Gifts within his sack, but none for you, you brought the tears of the Santa Claus.

You ride alone with regrets in a one-horse open sleigh.
The checked-out jolly fella might as well have had rubella.
Forever he is done giving gifts to everyone.
His presents undelivered, soon his missus goes upriver.

North Pole agony, the elves concede at the news of his death.
Now, anomie precludes the peace, and all recedes to what had once been.
The dark descent to freezing cold, again the Blizzard of ’78.
Take his resent, his wounds abscessed, now taste the tears of the Santa Claus.

[guitar solo]

Drowned in his sorrows,
Within, without,
That’s what this Christmas will be about.
Went for the stars,
Choked on his tears.
Copyright 2017 by Dylan Baranski GmbH S.p.A. Inc. Misuse is punishable by walking alone with Jesus in a world of non-believers.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

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