I'm so scared that the way that I feel
Is written all over my face
We went out for lunch today, to visit that great burger place
We ate a lot of burger meat, the way that all friends do
But after five burgers and many fries, my bowels they felt like glue
It's not a nice condition, when my bowels just will not move
It's a bad affliction
That I cannot do a poo

I'm so constipated, I'm so frustrated
Just when I think I'm close, I think there might be a way
I think that I can go, but it decides to stay
Should I strain it
That might cause a hernia
I need an enema
Cuz I'm so feculent
I'm so constipated

Just when I think it's under control
I think that I can grab a grip
Another muscle pulls it back
And out of my reach it does slip
It must be 2 feet end to end
And 50 inches wide
But if I opt to apply some Vas'line
That'll help to make it slide
Oh it's not amusing
Yeah I think that I'll say yes
To Metamucil infusing
Through this hunk of fecal mess

I'm so constipated, I'm so frustrated
Just when I think I'm close, I think there might be a way
I think that I can go, but it decides to stay
Should I strain it
That might cause a hernia
I need an enema
Cuz I'm so feculent
I'm so constipated
I hate it
Cuz I've waited
So long to do a poo

Oh what do I do...

Oh should I strain it
That might cause a hernia
I need an enema
Cuz I'm so feculent
I'm so constipated...

I'm so constipated...

I'm so constipated...