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Song Parodies -> "Great Big Art"

Original Song Title:

"Great Big Stuff"

Original Performer:

Broadway Cast of 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels'

Parody Song Title:

"Great Big Art"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

On November 18 and 19 of 2005, I will be playing the part of "Marshall Brown" in The Nashoba Players' new dinner theatre production, "The Award Show". At the request of the director, I've been "commissioned" to write some parodies of show-tunes that we will use in this upcoming performance of "The Award Show". This particular parody will be sung by the character "Otto Harnden", an over-the-top, egotistical German director, who has his own grandiose ideas about "art", when Otto discovers that Chantelle Derriere's French film, "Le Event", has won the coveted "Artty Award" that Otto wanted for himself.
OTTO
I thought I'd seen it all
I thought I knew the score
But coming here, I've found a world
I'd never seen before

This is not where I belong, this man of taste and class,
With vultures unsophisticated,
boring, dull, and crass!

Gimme
Great Big Art

That is what I need to live!

Great Big Art

There is no alternative!

Great Big Art

I wanted this Award
Wanted it right now
But by bullshit I was gored

I wanted my fortune and fame
But now I'm left to blame
Some French vast-bottomed " lady "
Whose dumb-ass film is LAME !!!

OTTO / ENSEMBLE
To lose is such a trauma!

OTTO
To that French piranha!
Cheesy, dopey, sleazy,
In her cloud of marijuana!

Gimme ---

OTTO / ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
A film like "Casablanca"

OTTO / ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
Not Chan-telle's shabby chancre!

OTTO / ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
I don't like that damn Derriere!
Took away accolades,
Now this night is full of despair!

Oh give me a prize
For my artistic eyes
And Scorcese, on the phone
Will say "Well done, Otto, right on!"
George Lucas will invite me
To STAR WARS orgies nightly
Nookie with a Wookie
And that Princess oh so spritely!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
Critics'll praise me!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
Fans will go crazy, oh my!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
Swillin' gin and tonic
While ironically I'm grinnin'
When I'm winnin' histrionic!

-or whatever!

I'll make my fame new!
I'll get on Oprah's show, no doubt!

They'll love me in the winter
They'll love me in the summer
Academy Awards'll call me
Their new up-and-comer!

They'll pay to see me speaking
They'll pay to see me talking
And guards'll keep me safe from
All the groupies who'll be gawking!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
Nothin' crass or crappy!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
That would make me very happy!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
Bring it out and make it snappy!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
I want some really classy shit!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
I'm on P-B-S !

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
My own artsy-shmartsy-special !

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
Lots of intellectual symmetry!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
Critics finally adore to see my every show!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big Art

OTTO
ART !!

ENSEMBLE
Great Big,
Great Big,
Great Big ,
Great Big Art ---

OTTO
I just want critics to praise me ---
--- AND GO CRAZY!

ALL
YEAH !!!
"Great Big Art" COPYRIGHT 2005 John D. Small

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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
great big fives...like how ya rhymed piranha with marijuana
Johnny D - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks alvin!
LucidLupin LeeBee - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS but enjoyed the read ;)

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