Rose has bees,
Cake is bland.
Hired a chaise,
Got a van.
The doves went wrong.
I'll turn the fan off next time.

Valentine's awry, you cry and bawl.
Your pouncet stinks, pups need air holes.
I messed up, seemed a melee.
This Valentine's has teemed, terrified screams.
Chemise of lace went up in flames.
A mass of steaming debris.

Nooo!

Silk handkerchief,
Perfumed with myrrh.
You've allergies?
Diarrheoa
Bought stale Bourgogne.
A stream of spew, you're queasy.

Valentines's awry, you cry and bawl.
The flower stings, the meal is cold.
I messed up, seemed a melee.
This Valentines has teemed, horrified screams.
As we are chased by swans upstream.
A mass of steaming debris.

This day is plain insane.
Razed your chimney.
The strippers are all dames,
Paid for chocolate fungi.

Nooo!

A frightful day.
Burns Unit, they'll soon operate.

Valentines's awry, you cry and bawl.
You're now in splints, your weals look sore.
White plaster sheaths your body.
This Valentines has teemed, petrified screams.
Next holiday, a daunting scheme.
I'll pass on Easter, lady.

Aargh, aargh!
Aargh, aargh!
Aargh, aargh!