Song Parodies -> Dyslexic

Original Song Title:

"Toxic"

Original Performer:

Britney Spears

  
Parody Song Title:

"Dyslexic"

Parody Written by:

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni)

A 17-year-old's remake of that pathetic 16-year-old effort. Pick out the anagrams in each line. (The letters of words rearranged to make other words, inspired by the effects of Dyslexia).
Dare say I can't read.
Appall-ing.
When gun mail moves.
I stare at mauling.
Thinner gall is enthralling.

Is hen cog nape,
In dark men?
Britney Spears now,
Presbyterians?
These radios, (A shit redose?)
Erased o' hits.

Two nigh.
Now hit gown.
Ginger nigger,
Watch the N-word drown.
Say as Dr now.

Real precise, rear eclipse.
A dire ride.
Dyslexic.
Wed Ron? I wonder.
I force pi to dot a pair of dice.
Pregnant boob gaper, too.
Note the tone.
I'm Dyslexic.
Blaming gnu, Malibu.
Condone non-code.
Dyslexic.

I hate ‘teammate'. Where's tee mam at?
Tame double-shifts.
Or I meet a mat.
Lonely,
A male anomaly.

Dune ploys.
Now yelp sound.
Who rates a stare?
Can dew slow awed clowns?
Scale ‘W' down.

Ship marines, smearin' hips.
Satired a stride.
Dyslexic,
Blurred nose, ore blunders.
A calorie farce to care for lice.
Did sour disorder rue?
How's a show?
I'm Dyslexic.

Deciphered ‘I cart blue'.
Lubricate? I'm Dyslexic.
Cruel bait? I'm Dyslexic.

STAR, TARS!
TSAR, ARTS!

Slimy paste, measly tips.
A diet tide.
Dyslexic.
Hard nut rear thunder.
I nagged greasy toons and staring eyes.
Gnaws, opens, gonna spew.
Wolf that flow.
I'm Dyslexic.

Quip stampede, mats equipped.
Deep is espied.
Dyslexic.
Such a nerd chunders.
Sure, primrose virus, improvise.
Low doona down a loo,
Worth a throw.
I'm Dyslexic.

Dyslexic, hate the words.
Like ‘drunk sinnin' Kurds'.
I lick spaghetti now.
Lathe is ticking? POW.
Dyslexic with my tongue.
Rude wire, my thong!
Thirty murdered? Wrong.
Dedicated to the newly-wed Britney Spears Federline. Penis enters, breed fairly.
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Voting Results
Pacing: 4.3
 
How Funny: 4.3
 
Overall Rating: 4.3
 

Total Votes: 22
Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

 Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 
 2
 
 2
 
 
 2   1
 
 1
 
 1
 
 
 3   2
 
 1
 
 2
 
 
 4   1
 
 2
 
 1
 
 
 5   16
 
 16
 
 16
 
 
User Comments Follow...

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stuart McArthur - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
another bizarrely brilliant idea Luke - can't vote though because it's not a parody but a string of anagrams - keep pushing the envelope though :)
Andrew Darwitan - February 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Love the pacing so much. I can walk without stones making me fall on the whole song. But like Stuart McArthur said, "It's not a parody but a string of anagrams."
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 17, 2005 - Report this comment
A string of anagrams that fit the Toxic rhyme scheme!
And pacing!
And change for every chorus!
Whilst still rhyming!
And fitting the pacing!
THE DEFENCE RESTS.
Stuart McArthur - February 17, 2005 - Report this comment
yeah, knowing you, I thought it would have done all those things and been brilliant (wordsmith.org? no?) but I'm ashamed to say I DKTOS so it was lost on me anyway - sorry mate

but Latest Comments readers, if you know "Toxic" you should check this out - it goes where no parody has ever gone
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
...apart from the near-identical one I did last year of the same name.
Adagio - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC 2005) DKTOS, but this was funny. 5's
Charlie Decker - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Sure, the pacing is perfect and the rhyming is perfect and a ton of effort went into it. But I can't vote because its just s string of anagrams. In fact, I can't even comment on it. Kindly ignore this one... (Just kidding...I know you ignore my comments anyway...I would, too.)
Agrimorfee - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) A fine work of art, but not much of a parody...the cleverness covers up the readability. Remember how I compared you to James Joyce a month or so ago? This is the reason why many readers don't like Joyce. Sometimes you are too good, :)
Rex - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC 2005) This belongs in one of those books on literary wordplay. An awesome effort.
Saider E. - April 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05)Creative
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank ye all! However, after several hours of inane scribblings, your comments contain hidden messages outlining Soviet assassination plots that I must alert the government about!
Guy - April 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-D) Love your anagrammar.
Melhi - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
D: true blog, Jake! (great job, Luke!) ;)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Guy and Melhi, you clever folks.
Johnny D - May 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Yer scarin' us, young fella!
Stuart McArthur - May 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) another bizarrely brilliant idea Luke - oh, I see I've already said that - spooky on a number of levels
Adam Eccleshall - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very clever :-)
Kristof Robertson - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) my my, young Brattoni...you're a clever bass turd aren't you? ;-) 555 Great mate.
Scathe - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-D) Parody was good, but I couldn't see the anagrams.
Phil Alexander - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought I'd commented on this one, too: I seem to remember tracking down a copy of Toxic when I first read it (oh, the days when I had more spare time...), and wanting to complain vociferously about being made to listen through that toxic wasteland of a track... but the parody's well worth it :-)
MysteryGoat - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Proud to say SOTKD
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks JD, Stu, Adam, Kristof, Scathe, Phil and MysteryGoat.
Here's an example of an anagram: "real precise, rear eclipse", which rearranges the letters 'a,c,e,e,e,i,l,p,r,r,s' twice.
Whereas 'pregnant boob gaper, too' uses the letters 'a,b,e,g,n,o,o,p,r,t' twice, but isn't technically anagrammic as there is not one of each letter either side of the 'middle'.
Man, this is a headache. I'm off to watch Play With Me Sesame.
Arwen - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--brilliant, Luke!!
martha - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
fantastic Luke ... will you provide us with a key so we can appreciate it full?...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
A key? That would take a while, generally the majority of sentences are anagrams:
"Blurred nose, ore blunders.
A calorie farce to care for lice.
Did sour disorder rue?
How’s a show?" However, even the mighty Spaff was baffled with: "Is hen cog nape, In dark men?" so I'd better explain that one. "Is Copenhagen in Denmark?"

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