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Song Parodies -> "Dope"

Original Song Title:

"Mope"

Original Performer:

Bloodhound Gang

Parody Song Title:

"Dope"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

(JJ. Cool)
Yo!
We’re going to turn this next nerd
Into a hiney-smacking playa
Instead just a dumb dork

(Hard Rock Rick)
Yeah…
The Comic Book Guy!

(JJ. Cool)
Hell no!
This is that textbook reading geek
Who never seen it coming!

(Hard Rock Rick)
Yeah…
Harry Potter!

(JJ. Cool)
No bitch!
I’m talking about that loser guy named Purvis Leshmit

(Hard Rock Rick)
Who’s Purvis?

(Some hot babe)
Oh!
Pimping out that Purvis (x9)

(Purvis)
Play D&D with the Trekkies
Roddenberry’s got me super-glued to TVs
Asthmatic (Hear me sneeze), pencil neck, nobly knees
I’m fluent in Japanese, Pokemon’s my expertise

Forty years with no date, but I’ve got my computer
I might be allergic to girls, and I never ate at Hooters
Brought cousin to Prom, I had no girlfriends
I get knocked up from too much vitamins

Date life is so friggen cruddy!
My last lap-dance was to the Easter Bunny
I examine jocks and how they all do it
It seems like the key to getting hunnies is be stupid
I read somewhere that girls like pets
Not spiders or snakes or hamsters with tourettes
And I still cuddle with my mom
This momma’s boy is too far-gone!

Really need some help!
Bullied by grandma!
Addict of “New Hope”*
Who has never touched a bra
I think this describes all my flings
“Deader than Gollum from The Lord of the Rings”
When SciFiWizCon’s all week I’ll be there
All I do in bed is sleep with a stuffed bear
I act like Fraiser Crane, but more of a nerd
So I’m making this tape to give you my word

(The Cool Crew)
Chillax
We’ll fix you
We’ll make some hot babe lick you

Chillax
We’ll do it
We’ll try to make you hot

Chillax
We’ll mend you
And make some hotties befriend you

Chillax
We’ll do it
We’ll try to make you hot

They found me some ho, Ex-hooker named Kate
And for just fifty bucks they had put me on a date
We invade the arcade cause they had a Halo 2 event
I wooed her off her feet by plasma blasting aliens

Then go to Chucky Cheese for some eating
Our dinner talk involves a lot of Star-Fleeting
Then we got to play Whack-A-Mole and Laser Tag
She wants into my jeans, but I don’t want to brag
Cause she gets hot when I talk of Star Wars
And say the early movies were the better ones by far

And while on my way home we take a journey
Showing off my woman to prove that I’m not nerdy
When we get home I rush to get online
Show my Warcraft paladin, and serve some wine
To get her in the mood I include the song “Be Our Guest”
Kazoo serenading, I’m the best

I wanna get screwed, I play Celine Dion
Wear my Jedi robes, get inhaler withdrawn
Freaking out, call the Cool Crew guys
She smokes a cigarette while I get their advice
She says for about 350 she will give me a thrill
Well I want to get a Wii, but this sounds like a deal
I lasted five seconds, but felt so good
Best three hundred bucks I spent for wood

Egad!
I did it!
That’s right I went and hit it

Egad!
They did it!
They went and made me hot!

Egad!
I did it!
Took forty years but I hit it

Egad!
They did it!
They went and made me hot!

It’s time to party hardy with my Cool Crew chums
Other folks can come
It’s time for booze abusing with my Cool Crew chums
Vodka out our bums
It’s time to party hardy with my Cool Crew chums
Other folks can come
It’s time for booze abusing with my Cool Crew chums
Vodka out our bums

(Guests enter Purvis’s house)

(Harry Potter)
Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!
Bloody Hell… Muggle-f*ckers!

(JJ Cool)
Awh shit! Harry Potter!

(Hard Rock Rick)
Hey Harry! What’s new?

(Harry Potter)
I’m pissed bitches! What’s with that crack!
I’m no braincase!

(JJ Cool)
Oops! Harry, That’s my bad

(Hard Rock Rick)
Yeah, I’m sorry man

(Harry Potter)
Mudbloods!
[Lights up his wand]
Yeah!
That’s the stuff!

-Theme music from the Harry Potter movies, techno-ized-

Getting trashed on booze, smoking on a bong
No longer a dope, since I got to use my dong
Sipping on a beer with the extra froth
Cooler than the Star Wars ice planet Hoth
I’m chilling at my party with Doctor Phil
Sent Lucas an invite but restraining order still
Without being a loser, I’m bored you know
I guess it’s just that time… To turn emo

Egad!
I did it!
That’s right I went and hit it

Egad!
They did it!
They went and made me hot!

Egad!
I did it!
Took forty years but I hit it

Egad!
They did it!
They went and made me hot!

Penis-Vagina Cake! (x8)
* The name of the first Star Wars movie.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   12
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Is there an emoticon to signify "bowing to greatness"? Remember how I said that Calvin & Hobbes parody was your best ever? This supersedes it. Big time congrats. absotively posilutely 5--5--5~!
Jack Wilson - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Awesome and hilarious as usual! 5s
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Well Matthias, as usual, I have already seen this one as I reviewed it over PM, all I have to say is "Penis-Vagina-Cake"
bobpiecheese - February 06, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Holy Testicle Tuesday! Don't you have anything else to do other than belt out parodies of ludicrously difficult songs? 555, anything lower would be BLASPHEMY!
stuart mcarthur - February 06, 2008 - Report this comment
(artistry) whoa - it's no coincidence that this and the White Trash Album were conceived and written by the same guy - awesome imagination at work here matty - and dammit, hamsters are horrible enough, let alone hamsters with tourettes (shudder) - massive effort - 555
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - February 07, 2008 - Report this comment
(Art) Penis Vagina Cake:)
Rex - February 07, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This one needs a video. Inspired work!
Guy - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5D)

This puts the "D" in dope. Was there anything you missed? This is the worst case of "Dope" I've ever read and I mean that in a good way. Fine job Matt.
Agrimorfee - April 13, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Ooh forgot about this one. Matty, you have built up an arsenal over the years.
Claude Prez - April 15, 2009 - Report this comment
I think the Easter Bunny line was my fave but the whole thing was quite impressive; great job.
Jason - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC-D) Good.
Below Average Dave - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Penis Vagina Cake. . . You know overall I still like this one Matt, pacing could be a tad tighter, rhyme scheme a tad tighter, but great Penis Vagina Cake on a tough song.
Stuart McArthur - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) see above - you are king of the "big effort" Matty - and yeah I learnt the hard way that girls aren't turned on by hamsters with Tourettes - what was I THINKING! - lol
bobpiecheese - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC4) See above!
Red Ant - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Great OS; I didn't realize until now BHG sampled "For Whom The Bell Tolls". Anyway, oustanding work here, Matt.
Melanie Lee - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC)_I'm not ready to rate yet. I'm having a hard time matching parody to OS, so I read over the lyrics. I guess I qualify as a quasi-virginal Nerd Girl, and I wonder--why is it popular to think that a nerd boy spending five seconds screwing a prostitute is better than him meeting, befriending, dating, and possibly marrying a nerd girl? In fact, why is empty-headed, empty-hearted sex considered more honorable than a brainy virginity? That said, I'll be back to rate in a few minutes.
Melanie Lee - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Okay, I gave it three listens. I finally figured out that I had it reversed: the parody starts before the OS video (at "Oh! Pimping out that Purvis!"), not the other way around. A couple of smiles/giggles ("Vodka out our bums"), and the PacMan/Potter section wasn't bad. But most of the song made me sad, without also making me laugh. Bottom line: it is a good parody, but it turned me off. 5-3-4.
Jeff Reuben - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice, another good nerd turning parody! Tough song to write, I thought this was one of your better ones.

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