-> "Dope"
Original Song Title:
"Mope"
Parody Song Title:
"Dope"
The Lyrics
(JJ. Cool)
Yo!
We’re going to turn this next nerd
Into a hiney-smacking playa
Instead just a dumb dork
(Hard Rock Rick)
Yeah…
The Comic Book Guy!
(JJ. Cool)
Hell no!
This is that textbook reading geek
Who never seen it coming!
(Hard Rock Rick)
Yeah…
Harry Potter!
(JJ. Cool)
No bitch!
I’m talking about that loser guy named Purvis Leshmit
(Hard Rock Rick)
Who’s Purvis?
(Some hot babe)
Oh!
Pimping out that Purvis (x9)
(Purvis)
Play D&D with the Trekkies
Roddenberry’s got me super-glued to TVs
Asthmatic (Hear me sneeze), pencil neck, nobly knees
I’m fluent in Japanese, Pokemon’s my expertise
Forty years with no date, but I’ve got my computer
I might be allergic to girls, and I never ate at Hooters
Brought cousin to Prom, I had no girlfriends
I get knocked up from too much vitamins
Date life is so friggen cruddy!
My last lap-dance was to the Easter Bunny
I examine jocks and how they all do it
It seems like the key to getting hunnies is be stupid
I read somewhere that girls like pets
Not spiders or snakes or hamsters with tourettes
And I still cuddle with my mom
This momma’s boy is too far-gone!
Really need some help!
Bullied by grandma!
Addict of “New Hope”*
Who has never touched a bra
I think this describes all my flings
“Deader than Gollum from The Lord of the Rings”
When SciFiWizCon’s all week I’ll be there
All I do in bed is sleep with a stuffed bear
I act like Fraiser Crane, but more of a nerd
So I’m making this tape to give you my word
(The Cool Crew)
Chillax
We’ll fix you
We’ll make some hot babe lick you
Chillax
We’ll do it
We’ll try to make you hot
Chillax
We’ll mend you
And make some hotties befriend you
Chillax
We’ll do it
We’ll try to make you hot
They found me some ho, Ex-hooker named Kate
And for just fifty bucks they had put me on a date
We invade the arcade cause they had a Halo 2 event
I wooed her off her feet by plasma blasting aliens
Then go to Chucky Cheese for some eating
Our dinner talk involves a lot of Star-Fleeting
Then we got to play Whack-A-Mole and Laser Tag
She wants into my jeans, but I don’t want to brag
Cause she gets hot when I talk of Star Wars
And say the early movies were the better ones by far
And while on my way home we take a journey
Showing off my woman to prove that I’m not nerdy
When we get home I rush to get online
Show my Warcraft paladin, and serve some wine
To get her in the mood I include the song “Be Our Guest”
Kazoo serenading, I’m the best
I wanna get screwed, I play Celine Dion
Wear my Jedi robes, get inhaler withdrawn
Freaking out, call the Cool Crew guys
She smokes a cigarette while I get their advice
She says for about 350 she will give me a thrill
Well I want to get a Wii, but this sounds like a deal
I lasted five seconds, but felt so good
Best three hundred bucks I spent for wood
Egad!
I did it!
That’s right I went and hit it
Egad!
They did it!
They went and made me hot!
Egad!
I did it!
Took forty years but I hit it
Egad!
They did it!
They went and made me hot!
It’s time to party hardy with my Cool Crew chums
Other folks can come
It’s time for booze abusing with my Cool Crew chums
Vodka out our bums
It’s time to party hardy with my Cool Crew chums
Other folks can come
It’s time for booze abusing with my Cool Crew chums
Vodka out our bums
(Guests enter Purvis’s house)
(Harry Potter)
Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!
Bloody Hell… Muggle-f*ckers!
(JJ Cool)
Awh shit! Harry Potter!
(Hard Rock Rick)
Hey Harry! What’s new?
(Harry Potter)
I’m pissed bitches! What’s with that crack!
I’m no braincase!
(JJ Cool)
Oops! Harry, That’s my bad
(Hard Rock Rick)
Yeah, I’m sorry man
(Harry Potter)
Mudbloods!
[Lights up his wand]
Yeah!
That’s the stuff!
-Theme music from the Harry Potter movies, techno-ized-
Getting trashed on booze, smoking on a bong
No longer a dope, since I got to use my dong
Sipping on a beer with the extra froth
Cooler than the Star Wars ice planet Hoth
I’m chilling at my party with Doctor Phil
Sent Lucas an invite but restraining order still
Without being a loser, I’m bored you know
I guess it’s just that time… To turn emo
Egad!
I did it!
That’s right I went and hit it
Egad!
They did it!
They went and made me hot!
Egad!
I did it!
Took forty years but I hit it
Egad!
They did it!
They went and made me hot!
Penis-Vagina Cake! (x8)
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.7 | |
How Funny: | 4.5 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.6 | |
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Total Votes: | 13 |
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