Today I dont feel sober
And I'm tired of all these hangovers
Don't think that you're so straight
Cause being straight must suck!

We don't always see the straight line
We all need Guinness and Bud Light
You called me hung today
But I just took my chaser and carried on

Everybody needs some hops and yeast
Santa seemed to miss my chimeny
Maybe I was drunk and scared him away
So lean on a wall and slurrly say

What i see is fat and red
Fishing for Santa Clause with a tray of cookies
Why is St.Nick soo damn fat?
He sat on my hand and he broke all my fingers

My beer is in the right place
Look, theres some Guinness in my fridge
Dont make me drink water
Cause that's just plain not nice

We dont always see the straight line
Police called me a liar and said I wasnt fine
They auctioned off my car today
But I have stolen a rental
And carried on

Everybody needs some hops and yeast
I think santa broke my chimney
And stole my beer from me
And now my Guinness bottles' empty
Cause he came and he stole it
All from me!