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Song Parodies -> "Humpty Dumpty"

Original Song Title:

"Almost Easy"

Original Performer:

Avenged Sevenfold

Parody Song Title:

"Humpty Dumpty"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The Mother Goose tale you didn't want your kids to know...
Fell off this wall and I broke my spine
All the King’s Men arrived
They grabbed their blades and struck up a blaze
They didn’t bring the pa-a-a-aste

So now I am cracked up
Although the joke is at my expense
They plan to stuff their face with me
The dish and spoon met their lips

I’m scrambled egg
I’m scrambled egg…
I’m scrambled egg
Now scram… Scrambled egg!

Goose please help me
I’m Humpty Dumpty!!!
(Off the wall)
That meant my death
Was ‘Over Easy’

The Queen of Hearts made tarts
You can eat, now get me glue!
And Jack Sprat can’t eat fat (And eggs!)
His wife however che-e-e-ews

They’ve got me grilled and fried
And sunny-side up with Swiss cheese
They wouldn’t see the Muffin Man cause
They had to quench their need for eggs!

Now I’m in pain
Now I’m in pain
Now I’m in pain
Now I’m… In Much Pain!!!

The yolks on you
Cause I taste yucky!
(My great fall)
Was egg-cellent
It was quite smashing!
(With salad dressing)
That crack in me
Was worth repairing!!!
(Fell off the wall)
All the King’s Men
Are eggnog thirsty!

[Peter Piper drops the pipe and starts rocking out on the electric guitar]

Little Miss Muffet
Hates curds and whey
(Curds and whey)
The spider won’t bug
Her while she eats the egg
All three blind mice
To cheddar said, “So long”
Cause pickled eggs are nice
(Taste is so nice)

I’m scrambled egg
I’m scrambled egg… (Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!)
I’m scrambled egg
I’m scram… Scrambled egg!!!

Who’s in the dell
Had chickens lay me
(Now I’m sprawled)
In every gut
Jack and Jill bit me
(I’m served at luncheons)
Even Bo Peep
Had her sheep eat me
(Was cursed and fell)
Tell your children
The true-life story

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   13

User Comments

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MadameBo - February 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Squire Matthias, great compiling of those classic Rhymes, Sir!
Jonathan S. - February 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Loved "my death
was over
I also echo
the above
Below Average Dave - February 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Um, Never even heard of these guys, great take on the nursery rhymes though buddy, 5s easily!
Christie Marie M - February 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Egg-cellent parody you wrote, Matthias! Humpty Dumpty happens to be one of my fave nursery rhymes! I'll serve you 5 scrambled eggs, 5 sunny side ups, and 5 Eggs Benedicts!
kevin wrightly - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
like the over easy comment but would have preferred an easier os to follow
Mark Scotti - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
No egg on your face for this great one...
Max Power - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
I pushed him.
Phil Alexander - March 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Super scrambled nursery rhyme tale :-)
Jeff Reuben - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM: Some great puns and clever fairy-tale like rhyming verses in here. You knew I would like this one, I'm bedeviled by your creativity here!
Claude Prez - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Never heard the OS before; seems like a really tough one. Well done; clever stuff. "The yolks on you" -- heh heh
Pensworth - March 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Never heard of the OS either. But this was fun.
bobpiecheese - March 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wait, so Humpty was still conscious when everyone was eating him? That's major creepy right there. Still a great parody, but may cause nightmares for some.
Stuart McArthur - March 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) it's like a report from a parallel universe, where things don't quite make sense - and yeah those eggs! I don't know how many Muffin men I've missed over the years through concentrating too hard on my eggs - lol - 555
Below Average Dave - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) That was really, really odd. I thought it was really clever, had trouble staying on track there a little bit, first he's being cooked, then he's yucky, but then he tastes good, but nevertheless very original idea
Arwen - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM...I found myself scrambling to "get it" sometimes, too...but for the most part just liked this Matty. It made me smile. And now I want some breakfast. ; )
Invisible Boy - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Nursery rhymes a always fun, Matty. Like many, the OS was new to me. I liked the overall idea and some of the lines "cracked me up".
Glen S - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
TMGLTM but fitting so many nursery rhymes in makes this a contender if ever there was. Well done, Matt.
RIP Jimmy - August 15, 2010 - Report this comment
shall i say 'egg'cellent! sorry for bad pun. anyway great parody im a HUGE a7x fan and this is just FANTASTIC!
Willy Wagtail - October 20, 2017 - Report this comment
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall humpty dumpty was only 2 inches tall,he fell off a brock his shell,poor little egg i wish him well.I heard this on a episode of Lost in Space
Spurwing Plover - October 20, 2017 - Report this comment
Quck call the Egg cosist a huanted chcken pen

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